Oh, dear Internet peeps, it's good to be back. Thank you for your patience with my break and then my extended break. In all honesty, I do not know where to begin. I guess I should share what has transpired over the last week and half. On Thursday, July 10th (that already feels like forever ago), Matt and I flew to my old hometown of El Paso, Texas for a couple's baby shower for our dear friends, Jonathan and Corrie. They live far, far away but were visiting the States for a month to visit family. Their first baby, Guy Charles, is due the end of September, and we couldn't pass up this rare opportunity to be with our friends and celebrate with them! When we make it back to El Paso, we also get to visit my paternal grandfather, Papa, and maternal grandmother, Gaga. It had just been six weeks ago when me and my brother, Mac, visited Gaga for a weekend and had a wonderful time. But as Matt and I walked into her home on the 10th, there was a drastic difference in my Gaga. We knew she wasn't doing well, but still, nothing quite prepares you for what you see. My mom had already been there a week to take care of her, and she was not getting any better.
In the meantime, Matt and I thoroughly enjoyed our time with Jonathan and Corrie and Corrie's parents, Chester and Charlotte! Not sure how much time we'd actually get with our friends, we played the weekend by ear, ready and available to hang out with our friends anytime they could get together. But we were blessed beyond measure with the gift of time with our friends! We were able to see them everyday from Thursday to Saturday, enjoy dinners with them and Corrie's parents (who are great fun!), help run errands to the dreaded El Paso Walmart where we escaped a near awful accident involving a 60 qt. ice chest, and celebrate with them at their baby shower. Knowing that Corrie and Jonathan's time with their family is limited, I try to be sensitive to how much time we spend with them; it's not easy for me to not get to see my friend that often, but I can't imagine how much more difficult it is for their family! But Chester and Charlotte were extremely generous in sharing their time with us; I can't tell you what a priceless gift that time was for us. And it was tons of fun to talk about a bunch of baby stuff with Corrie, to have a dear friend with whom I can be pregnant alongside. I can't wait to meet their little boy and get my hands on him!
On Friday the 11th, we found out that Gaga only had about a month to live and that hospice would be brought in to help care for her. Upon this news, I decided to stay an additional week to be with Gaga and help my mom. Gaga knew what was happening and was able to communicate the "I love you's" that she wanted to, but each day she worsened. By Tuesday, she was in her bed full-time. Up until I was married, whenever I'd stay the night at Gaga's, my sleeping spot was right next to her in bed where we'd stay up late watching Nick at Nite. It was the same spot I found myself in a lot of this past week, lying next to her, holding her hand and praying for her. We'd look out her window to watch the birds occasionally, but most of the time she slept. It was precious to be with her, right next to her, to love on her, give her kisses and tell her how much I love her.
It was on Wednesday the 16th early in the afternoon that me, my mom and my uncle kneeled and sat by her side to sing to her, encourage her, and pray for her as she went peacefully to be with Jesus. Her family and friends gathered together this past Saturday to celebrate her life and a reception was given afterward in her home. While this has been a very difficult time and I am still very sad, there is so much to be thankful for: that Gaga did not linger in pain; that she knew Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior and is now dancing in His presence; that we have dear, dear friends in El Paso who took the time to provide meals or come to the service in support of my family; that my dad is with my mom this whole week to love on her; that Mac, Julie and Matt were all able to come out to the service even though they had previous weekend travel plans; for our friends and family who have been praying and full of compassion and support through emails, calls, etc...; for Rob and Leah and Chris and Jill who have so willingly and excitedly watched Molly and let her be loved on by their kiddos; for the Spirit-led memorial service that lifted high the Name of Jesus and for Father Hobden whose words were so encouraging and full of life and hope. Most of all, I am thankful for the gift of time I had with Gaga the past week and a half, that I was able to stay and be with her and my mom. It was an unexpected gift of time, truly a priceless gift. Priceless.
I miss Gaga so much. She was a most special grandma; cherished memories of her are vast! There's so much to share, so much to celebrate, and also still some grieving to do. Hospice gave us a book called "Gone From Our Sight" that helped prepare us for the changes we'd see in Gaga's body as death neared; it describes the dying process from 1-3 months left, to 1-2 weeks, to a couple of days, to hours. As Matt pointed out, it's quite a lot to process by reading about and seeing what death is like up close and personal while reading about and experiencing at the same time the amazing, miraculous developments taking place within my own body as baby Polka grows and develops: breathing patterns, heartbeats, eyes, ears, organs, fingers and toes, etc...
Gaga wanted so badly to meet Polka personally, as I wanted Polka to meet my Gaggy. Our first three baby gifts all came from her, all given at different times over the past 7 weeks; they are laid out upstairs in the nursery waiting for Polka to wear and play with. But now she knows whether Polka is a boy or a girl...the secret will just have to stay with her and God for the next 5 months! <grin> There's still so much for me to write about Gaga and I need to finish up my series, so it is good to be back with you, Internet peeps. I certainly can't guarantee my writing to be peppy these days; in fact, Matt keeps trying to get me to laugh, but either he's trying way too hard and overdoing it, or I'm just really not in the mood to laugh too much. But I'll get there. I'll get there. In the meantime, enjoy the priceless gift of time you have with your loved ones.
