It's Friday! I love Fridays, don't you? Our weekend plans are still up in the air, but they will mostly consist of doing fun things on our "to-do" list: either working some more on the nursery with my folks or Christmas shopping. My goal is to get Christmas shopping done and packages mailed off by Thanksgiving this year. I have a lot that I'm aiming to get done over the next few weeks, and I haven't been listening very well to the precious people in my life who are telling me not to stress out about it all. I'm trying, but I'm doing so rather reluctantly. I'm the type of person that can't rest until things are in a certain order that I want them to be in. Can anyone relate to that? While that's not necessarily all bad, I can also take it to such extreme that I put aside what should be top priorities and I start affecting others around me, namely dear hubby. Matt, my parents, and friends have been so gracious in helping and encouraging; it's totally me that allows myself to stay in such a tizzy.
A precious lady whom I meet with regularly challenged me greatly in several different areas yesterday, in a way that was very much needed and good for me to hear. At the same time, I didn't really want to hear them. I am having a difficult time choosing right priorities the last few weeks. Instead, the list of things to do keeps whirling around in my head, when I lay in bed, when I wake up...constantly. So I end up choosing to do the things on my list, which means sacrificing my daily time with the Lord and being in His Word. No wonder why I can be so frazzled and overwhelmed!? I'm so bent on getting the things accomplished that I want to get accomplished (in the way AND time in which I want them) that I'm leaving no room in my day for the Lord to have His way and agenda, and the bent is so strong that I lack even the desire to let Him be Master of the day.
It's also affecting the tone I set for our home. Hubby has been up past 1 a.m. each night this week and has a big week at work ahead of him next week ending with an all-night launch and a weekend on-call. Let me just list a few things you can do that will make your husband feel like home is not any different from work:
- Not stopping what you're in the middle of doing (when it is possible to do so) to greet him when he gets home, and greeting him in such a way that makes him feel like he's robbed you of your focus and time on what you were working on
- Immediately hitting him with the question, "What are we gonna get done tonight on our to-do list?"
- Sending him off to work right after breaking out in hysterics that we're not going to get done all that we need to and listing point by point what we still need to do
- Not taking the time to feed him a well nourished meal when there was definitely time and energy to do it, just not a willingness to do it. Instead, he gets bowls of cereal or McDonald's for supper
- Centering conversations around your day and what is left to do without even asking him how he's doing; encouraging him in how well he's doing; and sharing with him how appreciated he is
Those are just a few. I got more. And I got a lllloooonnnggg learning curve ahead of me, Internet peeps. It was like a light bulb went off in my head yesterday meeting with my friend: I really have not put hubby's interests above my own, and the atmosphere of our home has not been the most welcoming refuge for Matt to come home to after a long day at work. My lack of being with the Lord and in His Word hugely contributes to those things as well because without that time, I'm anxious, focused on myself, worrying, and not relying on Him to help and lead me throughout the day.
So last night, I made itty bitty steps to make sure I had a healthy dinner ready for hubby with some relaxing music playing and was conversational about other things than our task list. I even excitedly listened to him show me how he organizes his iPhone applications. He was like a kid in a candy jar! Be rest assured, however, that the nice dinner and conversation were after my first blunder of letting, "Didn't you get my message? You were supposed to stop at CVS on the way home," be the first things out of my mouth when he pulled into the garage. Oh, that I would be more like Molly in how I greet him when he gets home: wildly enthusiastic that her bestest bud is now at home with her.
Tonight, I might take hubby to Starbucks to hang out there, or we may just want to have a relaxing night at home watching last night's episode of the The Office that we didn't get to see (which I hear was really good). That means I have to set aside my desire to make those last few phone calls to wrap up loose ends on one of our to-dos. I think it will be worth it, don't you?
<sigh> I'm always learning. Sometimes begrudgingly and stubbornly. But thank the Lord for people who come alongside us and encourage us in truth, even when we may not want to hear it, but at just the right times that we need to hear it. And thank the Lord for puppies, who teach us a whole heck of a lot sometimes about love.