Spicy Magnolia

Smiles and Happy Tummies

Man, oh man.  It's February and I have my baby solely in his diaper with the fan going.  It's nearly 90 degrees here today.  I'm sorry, but that's just wrong!  I'm sweatin' bullets.  On the upside, however, Brennan had his first smile today!!  I received the delightful bit of sunshine about three times in a row, one being a huge toothless grin, so I figured that definitely makes it official.  Be still my heart!  He's still a tough crowd at this point, but man, I'll just about do anything to get that guy to crack a smile!

As I mentioned the other day, we have been so blessed by friends and family who have taken the time to bring us amazing meals.  I want to collect all the recipes and have made such requests.  The first one I've received is for Parmesan Chicken and Rice, a meal from Cooking Light made by my friend, Courtney.  It was delicious!  I must confess that all the meals that have been brought to us have been so good that I wake up in the morning craving them...and thus, they are my breakfast as well.  <grin>  Oh, and Matt would add that I'm not good at sharing them either.

Parmesan Chicken and Rice

• 1  tablespoon  olive oil
• 1/2  cup  chopped onion
• 1  teaspoon  bottled minced garlic
• 1/2  teaspoon  dried thyme
• 1  (8-ounce) package pre-sliced mushrooms
• 3/4  pound  skinless, boneless chicken breast, cut into bite-sized pieces
• 1/2  cup  dry white wine
• 1/2  teaspoon  salt
• 1/4  teaspoon  freshly ground black pepper
• 1  cup  uncooked instant rice
• 1  cup  fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
• 1/2  cup  (2 ounces) grated fresh Parmesan cheese
• 1/4  cup  chopped fresh parsley

Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion, garlic, thyme, and mushrooms; sauté 5 minutes or until onion is tender. Add chicken; sauté 4 minutes or until the chicken is lightly browned. Add wine, salt, and pepper; cook 3 minutes or until liquid almost evaporates.

Stir in rice and broth. Bring to a boil; cover, reduce heat, and simmer 5 minutes or until liquid is absorbed. Stir in cheese and parsley.

Ok, I gotta run.  I think I have both a sleepy and hungry baby, and that's just not a good combination.  Not a good combination at all.  Blessings, ya'll!

Giveaways and Tidbits

Ya'll never cease to amaze me!  Community and friendship are two of the most precious gifts ever, and how I have been blessed with such a genuine and heartfelt community through you all is incredible to me.  Thank you for your words of encouragement and your wisdom.  I've gone back several times throughout the last few days to re-read all of your comments from my last post and glean from your experiences, wisdom and insight.  They mean so much to me!  Thank you!

This post may seem a bit random, but I just have some tidbits of things to share.

First, there are two pretty cool giveaways going on that I know about.  The Praise Baby Blog is giving away their "Sleepytime Lullabies" CD.  Oddly enough, I now have experience with baby lullabies, and this CD is great...Brennan loves it and so do I!  With Brennan being in the same room as us still, Matt and I often find ourselves falling asleep to the melodies...we might even become addicted to it and need to fall asleep to it from here on out.  Check it out here.  The second giveaway is at Walk With Me On This Journey Called Life.  My bloggy friend, Lauren, is being very generous and giving away a Pandora bracelet and one charm (it's one of her favorite jewelery lines).  Check it out here.  For both giveaways, all you have to do is leave a comment...so go check it out! 

The Lord, in His sweet mercy, knew I would be a rather nervous mom in getting used to getting out with a baby, 'cause He sure blessed me with one who just goes with the flow!  By the end of the week, me and Brennan will have been out and about four out of five days.  It's a bit tricky for me as I learn the routine of feeding/pumping on the go, but as far as taking Brennan places, he is a jewel!  I can't tell you how thankful...and relieved I am...and hoping that by writing this, I don't jinx it somehow.  <grin> 

We spent over two hours in the car today and he was lulled to sleep the whole time.  We also baked today for the first time together.  I put him in his car seat on the kitchen counter and talked to him the whole time.  I felt like I was a cooking show host explaining each and every step:  "take the butter out of the fridge, unwrap it and put it in a bowl.  Throw away the wrapper and put the bowl in the microwave..."  Talking out loud so much is a challenge for this quiet introvert.  Sooner or later, I'm gonna get tired of hearing myself speak! 

Just an FYI:  as of last Wednesday, Brennan weighed 9 lbs. 12 oz. and was 21.5 inches long.  But I seriously beg to differ on the length.  I don't think they stretched him out fully because that meant he'd only grown a quarter of an inch since the last appointment and there is just no way.  Not that I'd want the nurse to really stretch him out as I watched my baby shed tears on the cold scale.  But surely he's longer than 21.5 inches!  So by the end of this week, I'm going to attempt to measure him myself.  That kid is long!  Either that or I have no concept of length. 

This is one of my new favorite pictures:

Pops and Meems can't stay away any longer.  There was a message on our answering machine the other day saying, "We were wondering if you would want us to come babysit next weekend.  If that sounds good to you, or fits into your schedule, just let us know.  Yeah, just let us know what you think and if you'd like that."  Uh, yes, yes, and yes!  But we know deep down inside that it has nothing to do with helping us by babysitting but to come get their hands on my little chunky monkey!  It's all about the baby, we know full well.  So my folks will come on Saturday; Matt and I have yet to determine what we're gonna do.  Maybe rent a hotel room and sleep all day??  Surely we're not the only parents who have done or at least thought about doing that.

And in closing for today...anyone watching Lost tonight?  Good grief that show rocks!  How they manage to come up with all this stuff is beyond me; but I'm hooked!  Ok, gotta run, it's starting.  And then off to bed...I am one tuckered momma!  So much so, the hubby and I are usually in bed these days by 9 p.m.  Our alma mater called for fundraising last week at 8:45 p.m. and we told them they needed to call back because we were in bed.  I'm sure the college junior got off the phone and laughed.  I guess that...and the sprouting gray hairs on my head...and the fact that I'm turning 30 in April officially make me old.  Now I digress...gotta go curl up with hubby for the show!

Unwinding

Brennan is having bath time with Daddy.  The house is clean...no more dog hair flying around (for the time being).  I have a free moment to blog (a.k.a. vent...process...let off steam...unwind).  Please don't take this the wrong way because you gotta know that I love my baby and that I am so thankful for him.  I certainly don't want to complain, but I need just a moment to write that this has been the hardest day of motherhood for me yet.  I asked Brennan's forgiveness at least 5 or 6 times throughout the day for my impatience, for making wrong decisions about our time and wanting my own way, and for my frustration.  He and I spent a good portion of the day in tears. 

It didn't help matters that Matt has pretty much worked non-stop since Friday morning because of a launch.  On the positive side, as of yesterday, I was raving to my Momma about how well the weekend went with Brennan having been on my own with him for the majority of three solid days.  But I should have known today might have been a little rough when I woke up exhausted to a puppy who had yet another stomach ache.  She's been fine for the past week, but the weeks prior she's woken up with a rumbly, upset tummy in which she goes outside and throws up phlegm.  It's not new for her to experience acid reflux this time of year, but when we took her to the vet a couple of weeks ago, it was rather saddening to hear the vet say, "I think most of what Molly is experiencing is stress from the new addition to the family."  Not words a dedicated and in-love puppy mommy wants to hear!  She loves licking Brennan and is taking to him well, but you can tell she's not 100% sure about this new part of her life.  Anywho, she was doing better, but our day started out with yet another one of her episodes. 

I've wanted (and needed) to vacuum since last Thursday but haven't been able.  I can only take putting Brennan in his swing for so long/so many times a day for me to get things done.  And I don't want to miss out on any of his precious cooing...I'm still waiting for that first smile!  But I was desperate today.  I am slightly obsessive compulsive about a clean house and I feel like I've already sacrificed so much in letting things go; the state of our furry carpets was sending me over the edge...slight panic attacks were setting in this weekend.  I am trying ever so hard to come up with a cleaning/laundry routine to manage during the week without feeling like I'm neglecting my son.  Any suggestions on that matter, I'd love to hear. 

So with the hopes that he would take a solid and much needed nap, I prepared to tackle vacuuming and mopping.  Well, let's just say that at the expense of letting him cry off and on for almost an hour, I was able to accomplish the task.  Feeling good about a clean house, yet feeling like a lousy mom.  Add to that:  being spit up on twice with another spit up all over himself; not going down well for his naps; crying off and on throughout the day (this is a first for little Brennan--and so I know one day of this shouldn't be a big deal to me but it was today); crying while I'm trying to pump for him (I have yet to get down the routine of trying to pump and feed); feeling guilty and heart-achy being stared at by Molly longing to go on a walk but having just cried my eyes out for the umpteenth time today and not feeling up to it; having forgotten Molly was shut up in the bedroom for forty minutes; being dragged through the yard on my back trying to hold onto Molly's collar with one hand and Brennan in the other while Molly tried to say 'hi' to the Schwann lady.  The poor lady.  She was coming up to say 'hi' to us in the front yard and I literally told her as I was being twisted and dragged on my back that it would be best if she didn't come close.  Last time she'll come around our place.  That puppy has more stored up emotional energy to get out of her system than I've ever seen!  But after all she's been through, I don't blame her...I'm right there with her!

The break hubby is giving me is really helping at the moment.  So also is that I am nice and full from a wonderful meal our dear friend made for us!  Ya'll, I am blown away by all the thoughtfulness we've been shown from friends and people we don't even know that well.  We've had a neighbor we hardly ever see drop off a gift bag of cute onesies on our doorstep!  We've been so blessed by all the wonderful meals over the past few weeks and the tender love and encouragement from friends and family.  I am going to completely forget how to cook!  It took me an hour to go to the grocery store yesterday because I hadn't been there in so long and felt like I had to reorient myself to its layout! 

Having had a break, a delicious meal, and letting out some emotional steam via blogging (thanks, ya'll!), I must say this and this were things I needed to read today.  It was just the Truth I needed to hear.  And now that I'm a little wound down, I need to go back and reread them and let that Truth sink in more. 

Tomorrow's a new day, thank the Lord.  And maybe, just maybe, it will hold a first smile.

I've Been Painting Pictures of Egypt

Why is it that this is my first chance to blog in days and I find myself staring at the screen with my mind running blank as to what to write?  If that's not frustrating, then I don't know what is!  ARGH.

5 minutes of staring later...

Before I forget to mention it, Matt and I watched a movie this past weekend from Netflix called The Simple Life of Noah Dearborn with Sidney Poitier.  It was one of the best movies I've seen in a long time!  Many of you may have already seen it because I guess I'm a little behind in the times:  it came out in 1999.  But if you haven't viewed it, I highly recommend this touching drama that had an endearing humorous aspect as well.  Along with Dianne Wiest and Mary-Louise Parker, the cast was delightful in all respects.

5 minute break to fix that small massive bowl of Blue Bell Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream that I've wanted to devour the past 2 days...

On our way to the doctor's office on Wednesday for Brennan's one month appointment, I was listening to Sara Groves' album Conversations.  The song "Painting a Picture of Egypt" started playing, and as I sang the words out loud, I realized how much I could relate to the lyrics in this point in my life.  Which I guess means that I am more like the Israelites during the time of the Exodus when Moses was leading them out of Egypt than what I'd like to admit:  how often they looked back to the past and didn't trust the Lord to provide or care for them in the new place He led them.  Every opportunity they had to question His character of faithfulness or complain, they did.  I wouldn't consider myself to be in a dessert per say, just in vastly new territory.  At times, this new territory is so uncomfortable and personally stretching that it makes me long for for the solace and familiarity of what I knew prior to this new place.  And yet, I wouldn't go back.  I couldn't go back.  I'm different.  I've changed.  I am changing. 

Lord, thank you for this new place You've brought me to.  It's hard sometimes, especially when I'm tired.  And it's showing me places in my heart that I have put myself first for so long.  But only You in your grace and beauty can make a new territory feel right and good, knowing that Your tender, loving hand is on every aspect of leading me here.  Help me to trust You in this new place, to give to You the times when I mourn for the comfort of my old life.  Thank you for the ways You've already given me such new found joy and delight in where I am now.  Thank You that I can turn to You at any time, that You know all that I need. Thank You that You alone are the Source of everything, absolutely everything, that I need:  strength, wisdom, endurance, hope, rest, security, knowledge, joy, patience.  Thank You that You hold the brush, that You are the Artist of this new part of the painting that I'm in.  It's so colorful and beautiful already.  May I have eyes to behold such beauty...both in the painting and in You.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

   Contemplating that second bowl of ice cream...I seriously think I'm gonna!

One Month Later...

Hello, Internet peeps!  Happy belated Valentine's Day!  <grin> 

Yes, I'm still here.  Every day, my computer is running and hooked up to wireless internet in hopes that I will have a moment to catch up on my blog reading, send some emails, and actually write a post.  Instead, I find myself talking sweet baby talk, changing diapers, staring at my Blue Eyes, throwing in my fourth or fifth load of laundry, pumping and feeding, feeding and pumping, reading aloud, or jammin' and dancin' away to worship music with a precious one in my arms.  I'm learning to try to not to miss those priceless moments.  In fact, I found myself at my first MOPS meeting last Friday looking around at all the other fast growing babies around me.  As I realized that my Brennnan was the youngest and tiniest one there, I found myself jealous of my dear friend holding my little one and snatched him right back into my arms, holding him as long as I could before he grows any faster.  But oh, sometimes the bright light of my computer and the longing to write beckons me, I will admit. 

Right now, me and hubby are on a date at Barnes & Noble!  And guess what both of us wanted to do:  work on our computers!  Not all of our dates will be like this, of course.  We want to converse and interact with each other <grin>, but right now, it feels really good to us to do some fun things on our machines that both of us enjoy...and then feel somewhat productive afterward. 

Matt's folks are in town from Virginia watching our ONE month little boy!  I can't believe it!  One month.  We made it to church for the first time yesterday!  After foolishly deciding to eat a steak burrito with Hatch green chile from Chuy's on Saturday night, Brennan woke up with an awful tummy ache yesterday morning. I wondered if going to church was worth the possible embarrassment and stares I'd feel like I was getting (sad, but true).  The last thing this new mom wanted to do, as insecure and nervous about being in public as I already am, was drag a fussy baby to church.  The Lord in His sweet mercies, after pleading with Him, answered my prayers and calmed Brennan's tummy and he was his usual happy, calm self.  I was still nervous and insecure, but that's just my own weakness 'cause that baby does absolutely nothing in his own demeanor to warrant those feelings. 

Ok, so here's the plan:  I am going to finish answering your questions and post a few pictures from this past weekend.  Then I hope to space out the "Brennan posts" more in order to write about other things.  For someone who thrives on variety, I need and want to space them out a bit.  Sound ok to ya'll?  We'll just have to see if my brain can function on other topics.  <grin>  These days, I feel like I can barely mutter a sentence that makes sense.  So I hope to spare you the gruesome reality of my brain on sleep-deprivation.

Wrapping it up on the Q&A session:

How did we introduce Molly to Brennan? 

Having just pulled into the driveway, we removed Brennan from the car and placed him on the ground in his car seat.  Molly, this is Brennan.  Brennan, this is Molly.  Lick, lick, lick, lick.  Wag tail.  Hind end moving back and forth.  Lick, lick, lick.  Brennan wasn't crying nor waking up, so we just let Molly greet him the way she knew how.  She still gives him a lick on the face whenever we bring him in the door.  He's a mighty fine tastin' baby, I guess.

What do you love most about being a mom in the first week?

Well, this post is obviously way overdue given that he's a month old now.  But in the first week...and even now, my favorite part is holding him in my arms and falling asleep together.     Or just staring at his beautiful face, watching a sleeping baby resting peacefully.  I love praying over him as he falls asleep at night.  His facial expressions as I feed him.  Open mouth kisses.  The bee-pops.  His stretches and pursed lips as he wakes up.  The way he sleeps with his hands above his head.   The way he recognizes my voice and follows me with his eyes. 

I will say one of the most memorable moments of the first week at home was taking him up to his nursery and showing him all around.  My Momma joined us for this most memorable time.  I went around the room and told him about each special part of it:  painting the walls, putting the crib together, Meems making the curtains, picking out the fabric for his bedding, Aunt Kim's poem, Daddy and Pops hanging up the blinds, the ball that Gaga gave us sitting in his crib.  So much love and time was poured into that room.  The three of us cried and laughed.  We prayed over him as we went through each part of the room as well.  It was a priceless moment.  And Meems presented a treasured gift she made for his room:  a painting she'd made herself on a glass window pane that was from her doll house growing up that was in Gaga's yard.  It's a picture of the rabbit scene that matches part of the bedding fabric.  I can't wait to post a picture of it to show you!  It will hang above his crib.  I sobbed, knowing not only how much work had gone into it but the meaning to my Momma behind the window pane itself.

Any stories about the "baby learning curve" we're on?  Any fun "mommy/daddy learning" moments?

Oh, golly...where to start!?  This whole month has been one great learning curve...not sure if I'd call the moments of being on such a curve "fun" though.  <grin>  But that's just the pessimistic side of me talking; I'm sure hubby would say it's TOTALLY been fun.  <grin>  Wish I had a canny answer for this one, but my mind is running blank at the moment, aside from the fact that I've learned how to change a diaper, dress a baby, bathe a baby, load a baby into a car seat (oh, which was horrible the first go round!)  In the hospital getting ready to go home, we didn't realize we could loosen the car seat straps before placing him in it, so we sat there putting our baby into all sorts of contortions trying to get him to fit into it.  He was screaming his head off, poor guy!  Swaddling, burping, learning what to do with him when he's awake...the list of things I'm learning seems so basic and yet, I truly know absolutely nothing...I'm totally learning as I go!

Did the epidural hurt?

Definitely NOT NEARLY as bad as my uncontrollable contractions!  The worst part was the numbing that felt like a bee sting.  But I'd take it again any day!

Do you find yourselves wondering what you ever did without him, yet?

I definitely cannot imagine my life without him now.  It's taken some time to feel that way though, especially at night time when some of my depression and tiredness sets in, but then as I gaze into his deep eyes staring intently into my own, I am overcome by emotions of gratefulness, ushering a silent prayer up to heaven, "Lord, please help me to love and serve him better, to give of myself and enjoy this little bundle of preciousness you've given me.  Please help me do better tomorrow."

Yeah, I finished answering your questions!!  Sorry it's taken me so long!  And now for some favorite pics from this weekend.  We finally have a picture of our entire little family (however, Molly was very uncooperative)!

 

Date is coming to a close...must go home to hold that one month old!

To Tide You Over

Hi, folks!  Well, it might be until next week until Miss Julie has a chance to send me the pictures from last weekend.  So to tide you over, here are a few of mine.  But trust me, hers and Mac's are some definite keepers, and I can't wait to see them!

In family news this week:  I have a growing boy!  Oh my goodness, he is long!  We have his one month doctor's appointment next Wednesday, and I just know he's going to be at least 24-26 inches!  Matt's folks, Brennan's Papa and Nana, are coming into town on Saturday to meet the fella, and we're gonna have to do some clothes shoppin'!  <grin> The little boy has outgrown pretty much of all of newborn clothes; his feet are gonna pop out of them footie pj's any second!

One of the questions asked of me (yes, I know, I still need to finish answering those suckers!), was, "Have there been any diaper mishaps?".  Well, by golly, yes there have.  As a matter of fact we had one yesterday!  Fortunately, and I cross my fingers or knock on wood as I type this, we have not had any diaper explosions while in the car seat or while we're out and about.  But my Momma was the first one to get spit up and sprayed on...within the first day he was home.  Then yesterday, in a matter of 30 minutes, I was spit up on, leaked on, and pooped on.  Needless to say, the little stinker was thrown into the tub ASAP...I guess I was due for a shower ASAP as well.  I'm sure I'll have many more stories to tell of diaper mishaps along the way, especially as I leave the house more.  By the way, how tight is too tight for a diaper??  How do you know when he should move up a size?  Uh, have I told you that I have no idea what I'm doing?  Like, uh, seriously, folks!

At least I know how to take pictures of the little guy:

Saturday afternoon at The Domain.  We ate lunch outside at The Steeping Room...of course, where else?

My little turtle man!  Although a little big for him, I couldn't resist putting him in this outfit.

 
Pops and Meems babysat for us on Saturday night and so we were able to join this group of fine folk, most of whom my brother and I grew up with, for a nice evening out at Z Tejas. 

This is Oscar, my pseudo second brother, and his precious wife, Candis!  Candis made us the cutest diaper cake, a taggie blanket and a onesie with a "B" on it.  We've sure been blessed and spoiled by their outpouring of love on our family.

A Sunday afternoon nap with Daddy.

Lunch at The Cheesecake Factory.  Brennan loves his Aunt Julie and Uncle Mac!

 

 

Tiny Prints

Hey, dear Internet peeps!  I hope this finds you doing well on this Monday afternoon.  How was your weekend?  Ours was muy fabuloso given that we had some very special visitors, ate lots of yummy food, laughed a lot, and it was simply the weekend!  Weekends are now so much more valuable to me; and sadly, they go by at warp speed.

I am going to post pictures of this weekend with Brennan's Uncle Mac and Aunt Julie a little later.  I have some pics, but Mac and Julie took some awesome pictures with their camera and I'm waiting to get copies of those first so I can post them together.  In the meantime, I wanted to let you know of a fun project that Brennan and I did last week together, thanks to his Aunt Melissa who gave it to us as a gift.  For those of you with little kids or in need of a great baby shower gift idea, here it is:  the Deluxe Baby Keepsake Frame.  You can order it online here at Red Envelope.  The frame allows you to capture either handprints, footprints (or both), and a favorite 4x6 photo.

I wanted to get a molding of Brennan's hand and foot prints early on while he's still teeny tiny.  So last Monday,  we worked on it together during his few awake hours.  <grin>  It took several attempts, but eventually it was successful.  His handprint was the hardest to press into the mold because he loves to keep his hands by his face and usually, he's tight fisted.  For the picture, I used the one of him in his coming home outfit, but I think there might be a favorite picture of ours that Mac and Julie took that we'll switch out.

Speaking of "projects" or games, I know he's just 3 weeks, but what fun things do you all do or know of to do with little ones (of ANY age) during awake times?  I'd love to hear some fresh ideas!

Here's the finished product:

On a Spicy Magnolia blog note, I have an exciting new feature to offer ya'll!  For those of you who don't use something like Google Reader--that just might be total mumbo jumbo to you--or for those of you who get tired of hitting the refresh button to see if I've posted something new, you now have the option to subscribe to Spicy Magnolia via email.  Whenever I post something new, you'll get an email notification that there is a new post!  It's a pretty cool new feature, if I don't say so myself.  On the left sidebar, scroll down and you'll see a place to enter your email address and submit it for a subscription. 

Stay tuned for pics and more...

If Labor was a Salsa, Mine Would Be Mild

After three weeks and much patience from my dear Internet peeps, I now present to you the story of Brennan's birth...a modest version so as not to scare anyone away from motherhood.  As it is, if my story was salsa, it would be mild, so no need to get too wound up.

First, if you didn't read my post, "You'll Never Guess Where I Am", you'll need to start with that first 'cause I'm gonna pick up there.  My only addition to that segment of the day is that while I waited for Matt in the doctor's office hooked up to the fetal monitor, I was amazingly filled with much peace.  It was so fun to lay there and make phone calls to our friends and family members telling them that our little "Polka" was on his way! 

Before leaving home, Matt put last minute things into my overnight bag and arranged for our kind neighbors, Rob and Leah, to check on Molly and give her some TLC throughout the weekend.  Matt got to the doctor's office with my bag and a Cheshire grin about an hour after I called him telling him he was going to be a daddy that day.  It felt very surreal as we exited the back door to the doctor's office so we didn't have to traipse through the waiting room with all eyes on us and our bag to walk over to the hospital.  At that point, it was around 10 a.m., my contractions were 4-5 minutes apart, I was 3 cm dilated, and on a scale of 1-10 for pain, it was a 1 or 2.  Not bad.  I can do this thang!  Uh, yeah right.  <grin>

I was all dollied up in my gorgeous hospital gown.  My nurse (who ended up really getting on my nerves with how many times she came into my room--I think I was her only patient that day) got my IV started; Matt retrieved my focal point (a picture of Molly and my stuffed Molly); and he started playing one of my favorite albums, Jen.  Around 10:30, my doctor stopped by to say 'hi' and check on me; what a welcomed and reassuring face!  The next time he came by was around noon, and I was still 3 cm dilated.  So we decided to jump start the action and knock me up with Pitocin and he broke my water.  Now I understand why it would be a nightmare to be in public when your water breaks.  Yikes!

Being the dedicated addicted blogger that I am, I was determined to get a post out to let you dear folks know what was happening.  Here is me still in my nearly pain-free happy state getting the news out to you.   NOTE:  It is currently 1:30 a.m. as I'm typing this, and I have no discernment, discretion, or forethought to realize I just  posted one of the most grotesque pictures of me...ever.

Moving onward...at about 1 p.m., a special visitor arrived:  my Momma!  It was so fun to see her face and she looked so pretty.  That was one of the coldest winter Austin days, and she had a black scarf on with her Texas A&M sweatshirt (it was college day at her school); all bundled up was she.  The three of us chatted while my contractions steadily increased in degree of pain and frequency. 

Just about the time that I asked Matt to bring out Uno to play (the same 25 year old Uno set of Gaga's we'd play with all the time), my contractions were of the nature that my full concentration and effort needed to go in controlling them.  So no Uno.  The pain seemed to jump to an 8 quite quickly.  Granted, my whole pain scale is subjective, and I admit that I am a wimp when it comes to pain.  That said however, I was in pain.  I didn't know when my cervix would be checked next to find out how far along I was and how much longer I'd be in labor.  Did I say I was in pain?  Really?  Did I say that?  You know, right?  That I was in pain?  Yes, pain. 

I wondered if I was actually in the transition phase because I kept telling Matt, "I can't do this!", which is what our childbirth instructor said I would be declaring during such a phase.  Matt was a faithful coach and kept telling me, "You can do this!", letting me squeeze his hand...or the handle bar of the bed.  But the thought of not knowing if I still had 7 cm to go and how long I'd be at this was sending me over the edge.  Plus, I couldn't stay on top of the contractions; they were coming too fast and I was losing control.  Thirty minutes later (around 3:30 p.m.), I had the blessed epidural, which made the rest of labor fun and memorable.  Not only that, but I got an awesome new labor and delivery nurse who made the whole experience that much better!  

Soon after the epidural set in, we found out that I was about 6 cm dilated.  I was quite relieved that my pain was not in vain and it actually accomplished something.  But I had not been in the transition phase, so by golly, I could not imagine what the rest of labor would have felt like.  I shutter to imagine.  I was a happy, relaxed camper, chatting away with Matt and Momma and able to calm down a bit and relax.  Next thing I knew, it was 5:15 p.m. and I was 9 cm dilated.  Nine!  That went fast; this baby was a comin'!  My doctor was ready to go home for the day, but after finding out I was already 9 cm, he decided to stay and do the delivery himself.  After prepping myself that Brennan would be born over the weekend when my doctor wasn't on call, can you imagine my rejoicing and excitement at the blessing that the Lord gave us in His perfect timing!?  In addition, it had been a short, "mild" labor...another huge answer to prayer!

At 5:15 p.m., it was time to start pushing.  My Daddy arrived just in time to come in a say a quick 'hello'.  He and Momma stood outside our door the rest of the time waiting in eager expectation to be introduced to either their grandson or granddaughter.  Because of the sweet epidural, I can quite honestly say that pushing was a lot of fun to me.  It was invigorating.  I had two awesome cheerleaders:  Matt and our delivery nurse.  My left leg was a lot more numb than my right, so I definitely needed help with my legs.  And all sense of modesty was out the window hours ago...make that months ago!  I pushed for about an hour and fifteen minutes before my doctor and a whole slew of new people walked in my door.  It was like a party...with a bunch of strangers!  The pressure was getting more intense, and I'll just say I did leave with stitches.  I had one more big push and I was so eager to get Brennan out that I wanted to just go for it.  I'm sure my doctor chuckled because everyone's response was, "No, wait for the next contraction; you're gonna need its help."  Ok fine, it gave me a moment to catch my breath.  Then, "PUSH!"  The biggest physical relief of my life came moments later when our little boy was born.  At 6:47 p.m. 

Matt knew the gender of course, because of his position, and our doctor let Matt hold him and then present baby Brennan to me saying, "We have a little boy!"  I'll admit, part of me was a shocked it was a boy and then part of me wasn't.  Just as some couples have to adjust when finding out the gender during pregnancy, I had a few moments to adjust in realizing I had a boy.  A boy?  I had no idea what to do with a boy!  And everyone kept thinking it was a girl.  As the reality settled in, I was overcome by the emotion and magnitude of realizing that God's best had just been presented to me.  For whatever reason, the Lord set apart this precious boy to be my firstborn.  Humbled.  Thankful.  Part of me was even ashamed and guilty, fearful of the feelings I was having for adjusting to having a boy.  But the deeper realization of knowing there is a greater purpose in the Lord choosing and giving us a baby boy was like a waterfall of delight and rejoicing.  He was made for me, and I for him.

I always pictured a baby boy coming out with dark hair, but my little one had light, blonde hair and (so far) deep, blue eyes.  Such a handsome fella!

The whole day was a highlight.  I was truly grateful at how things all fell into place.  It was so much more than I could ever have asked for or imagined (Ephesians 3:20-21)!  One of the things I was set on after delivery:  eating a burger, fries and a chocolate malt!  I hadn't eaten anything since dinner the prior night.  I'm one of those women who makes doctor's appointments first thing in the morning and will wait to eat breakfast until after being weighed.  So I was starving!  I downed that scrumptious burger from EZ's that my parents picked up in a matter of minutes.  It was the best tastin' burger ever!

My parents had gone back to San Antonio until Sunday, so Matt and I leaned a great deal on each other that first weekend in the hospital.  We learned a lot, and I can't tell you how long it took us to dress Brennan in his simple coming home outfit!  The poor guy burned all his calories from his prior meal by crying the whole time we were fussin' with him.  But we got the guy home, and are celebrating his 3 week birthday today.  We can't wait to meet Uncle Mac and Aunt Julie this afternoon!  We're having a belated birthday celebration for Uncle Mac as well.

This post is a bit long, so I'll save the rest of my answers to your questions for one more post.  Then I'll be all caught up.  Hope ya'll have a great weekend!  Thanks for stopping by and many blessings!

Link Love

Hi, folks!  Guess what I'm gonna finally going to work on after this quick little post:  the low down (a modest rendition) of Brennan's birth and the rest of my answers to your questions!  My aim is to post them by Friday, so keep checkin' up on me. 

In the meantime, I wanted to give you a tad bit of link love to check out some posts and articles that have caught my attention recently.  They either got me thinkin', thankin', cryin' (a good cry), or chucklin', so enjoy!

Tina at Antique Mommy comes up with the most original posts about mommyhood!  I've bookmarked one of her most recent posts called, "The Resume", in which she very strategically toyed with words to create her resume.  Yes, I bookmarked it in case I ever need to steal borrow her wording for my own resume. 

My brother, Mac, sent us a very poignant and fascinating editorial that appeared in the Wall Street Journal in January called "Atlas Shrugged: From Fiction to Fact in 52 Years".  While I've never personally read this particular Ayn Rand novel, I found the comparison of the current economic situation to her classic piece intriguing and insightful.  Maybe Washington perked up upon reading it? 

Speaking of my brother, he and Julie come into town this weekend to meet Brennan!  Matt and I are cashing in our first coupon and asking my folks to babysit for us on Saturday night so we can go out on the town with Mac, Julie, and some other dear friends, including my pseudo younger brother, Oscar, and his precious wife, Candis.  Meems and Pops jumped at the opportunity to babysit...I think Brennan already has them wrapped around his little finger!

My first week at home on my own has gone pretty well.  Today has been a really nice day with my baby boy, as was Monday.  Yesterday was a little rocky, and I must admit that there are times when I wish for my old life back.  Maybe being married 6 years before having kids made me much more content and comfortable in our way of life than I realized.  But then I have other priceless moments of sheer joy holding Brennan and looking into his eyes, ever so thankful for the gift that he is. 

One of the blog posts that has meant the most to me was a post written this week by Beth Moore called, "Before Baby Girl Comes".  At the time of the post, Beth's eldest daughter, Amanda, was 38 weeks pregnant with their second child, a baby girl.  (Baby Annabeth came a bit early and was born yesterday!)  Amanda's firstborn is a nearly 3 year old "unstoppable little force" named Jackson, and Beth wrote a lovely, moving post about who Amanda is as a mommy to Jackson.  I love the way Beth writes!  I was in tears of joy, thanksgiving, and prayerful longing as I read about being a mommy to a little boy, hoping that I would be such a mommy to Brennan.  So far, Brennan is pure sweetness and gentleness.  But who knows?  He may quickly develop into a rough and tumble precocious boy that gets into anything and everything...just like his Uncle Mac.  If that's the case, may the Lord have mercy on me! <grin> I know many of you blog readers who know of Mac's childhood would echo that prayer for me!  But I long to be a joyous and patient boy's momma, ready for the anything and everything that will come from being a mommy to my handsome boy. 

Two Weeks & Two Days Old

It was a breathtaking spring day in the dead of winter today.  The sky was a vast, open blue field...a signature Texas feature.  I've never been more thankful to live in a place where I can get out and pleasantly stroll about in the middle of winter.  I love a crisp, cold day with one or two ice/snow storms that make their annual appearance around these neck of the woods, but these mild winter days, perfect for getting outside, are just what this momma ordered!

Thanks ya'll for your prayers and encouraging notes from my last post!  Some of you who commented were new visitors (at least new commenters), and while I'm trying super hard to keep up with emails and have a sincere desire to write you back personally, I'm finding it rather difficult at the moment.  But thank you for stopping by, and thank you for your comments!  I can't tell you how much everyone's prayers and encouraging words mean to me, particularly to know that I am not alone.  One huge praise is that my milk supply has increased and I am able to supply all that Brennan needs!  We're still pumping and working on the latching, but right now, the fact that my supply has increased is a HUGE praise and relief!  Momma's gentle reminder to me that Brennan is perfectly and wonderfully made by his Creator, and I for him as his mommy, was also what I needed to hear.

I haven't forgotten about the remaining questions of yours that I have the privilege of answering...but I wanted to post a few fun and special things that have taken place over the last couple of days.

First, Brennan turned two weeks old on Friday!  My Momma accompanied me to the doctor's office for his check up for the second newborn screening test.  Ugh, I could not watch him get his heel pricked; holding him and watching his face cringe and his cry build up was awful.  I'd much rather have a shot myself!  I do not know how Matt did it watching Brennan go through all his pokes, proddings, and more at the hospital!  Afterward, the three of us enjoyed a most pleasant meal at The Steeping Room.  If you recall, it was the place I went to with Brennan when he was in my tummy as baby "Polka" to enjoy a day of bonding with him.  The three of us sat outside and Brennan was so good; we were there nearly 2 hours thoroughly enjoying ourselves.

Meems went home later that afternoon, and it was so hard to see her go.  I just cried.  I deeply needed her these past two weeks, and I'm so thankful for all that she sacrificed and gave of herself to be with us.  When I walked into my bedroom after she left, I discovered this precious gift she set by my bedside.  It's a Willow Tree statue called "Guardian--Love and Protect Thee Forever".  She also left a card with a timely verse on it that I'm holding near to my heart these days.  I love the version!  It's Hebrews 11:1 from the Living Bible:  "What is faith?  It is the confident assurance that something we want is going to happen.  It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us, even though we cannot see it up ahead." 

Friday was a special day of gifts, just in time for Brennan's two week birthday!  We got the neatest customized cards from our dear friends, Eric and Kim.  Check out Creative Blessings By Stacey for gift ideas and personal stationery needs...they are too cute! 

In addition to sharing Harper's birthday, I read last week that Harper and Brennan share the same nick name:  "chunky monkey"!  Little did our neighbors know this, but they picked out the most adorable and perfect gift for our little chunky monkey!! It's for 0-3 months but the pants are currently the size of his entire body!

My aunt and uncle sent an amazing little care package as well with two of the cutest outfits for Brennan to wear at 6 months of age and a photo album covered in a terry cloth design with Noah's ark on the cover.  Look at the feet of one of the outfits they sent!
We've received a number of other special gifts from people, lots of cards and emails, and flowers...thank you so much to all of you!  We feel so loved.  Thank you for celebrating with us.

I already have a list of things I want to blog about this week, so hopefully I'll have a chance to write, but I also have some fun things I want to do with Brennan as well...AND it's my first week at home entirely on my own!  So we'll see how it goes.  Until next time dear Internet peeps, blessings to each of you!