I stand in awe of the gifts God has given to me in my children, my husband. I look at my children, my boy and girl, and stand in humble amazement of these God-given gifts. I lose my breath sometimes. I want to fall on my knees in praise, weeping at knowing how much these gifts are undeserved, yet so deeply, gratefully received. I am not worthy. So not worthy. Incredibly blessed though.
When I look at Brennan crawling up in the car, arranging his fire hat on his head (backwards), locking eyes with me and smiling, my heart skips a beat and I freeze frame that vision for as long as I can.
When I snuggle up to Kensington, stroking my cheek against her peach-fuzzed head, I inhale a whiff of her baby smell and memorize it, along with the beauty of her smiles.
These days are precious and fleeting. Priceless and sifting all-too-quickly through the hourglass. Time is of the essence. Each day I long to be intentional, instruct, teach. Tiredness overtakes me; impatience robs me; busyness derails me. But I desire to remember each moment, to soak it up. By writing, I etch it into a tangible keepsake to prolong the memory as long as possible.
Who knows where these journals will end up, whose eyes these words will fall upon. But they will stand. Stand through time when my memory fades and fails, and ultimately they will be a record of the countless blessings given to me by my lavishly loving Father. At the top of my lungs and in the whispers of my spirit, I offer Him thanksgiving.*
While a couple weeks late, these are the markers and moments of Kensie’s second month I want to tangibly etch:
- It didn’t take you long to pack on the pounds and move up to the 50th percentile for weight (10 pounds, 14 ounces) and 75th for height (24 inches). Still in size 1 diapers and 3 month clothes, with some 3-6 month clothes.
- Easy-going. Laid back. Sweet. Delightful. Attentive. Content. Observant. Peaceful. Happy. In the words of Mary Poppins, “Perfectly perfect in every way.”
- Bath time is soothing to you. It’s one of my favorite times of the day.
- At exactly the two month mark, you still woke up once around 2 or 3 a.m. About three days after your two-month birthday, you started sleeping 10-12 hours straight through. Glory!
- We actually didn’t expect you to start sleeping through the night this early and were not prepared for the sudden shift from the cradle in our room to your crib upstairs (it was kind of a fluke actually). I don’t feel like I’ve had closure on that season.
- Sometimes you prefer to be set down on the grass to look up at the trees and the sky rather than be held.
- Loud noises are not bothersome to you, and you’ve grown accustomed to Brennan’s in-your-face kisses, animal noises, hugs, and other raucous 2.5 year old antics (including tantrums).
- Smiles. Oh, the smiles! Pure toothless joy!
- Speaking of smiles, you’ll light up in an instant when you hear your big brother. I catch him holding your hand in the car and gazing at you. He’s already quite the protector and doesn’t like other kiddos getting close to your stroller. He’ll say, “My sister!” and will push them out of the way (we’re working on that).
- You still have the biggest and darkest blue eyes I’ve seen. They try to take in everything around them.
- Most of your morning naps are brief and in the car seat, so different from how it was with Brennan, but you handle it well.
- You can lift your head a bit during tummy time, an exercise you find distasteful. Extremely.
- Coos. Coos. Coos. Music to my ears.
- When you wake up, Brennan will excitedly say, “Kensie woke up!” and dash up the stairs to see you. His favorite thing to do is crawl into the crib with you and choose a song to sing. Either “Rise and Shine”, “Alleluia”, or “Good Morning to You”.
- You are the messiest, drooliest eater I’ve ever seen. Well, between the two I’ve seen <grin>.
- “Meghan poopy pants” is an appropriate nickname I’ve earned being your momma. At least six times now you have exploded, and I mean exploded your monstrosity of a diaper onto me. Daddy has managed to forego such unpleasantries. He’s due, girlfriend.
- Oh, how I love our momma-daughter times when Brennan is at school. It affords me the opportunity to give you some undivided attention.
Kensington Jane, you are special. Special, special, special. Oh, how God made you so special. May that truth be deeply embedded in your soul. A prayer for you that keeps coming forth from my heart that the Holy Spirit impresses upon me is that Jesus would be your everything, that you would be blessed with the gift of faith knowing that He is always and will forever be Enough.
Whom have I in heaven but you and earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
*Excerpts from a journal entry dated October 5, 2011