Spicy Magnolia

One Blessing After Another

April. I’m not sure where it went. But it went. And it went somewhere fast.

April is one of my most favorite months. Not just because it’s my birthday month, although that has a lot to do with it, I’m not gonna lie. It is hands-down, in Texas, the prettiest month of the whole year. And we’re blessed with an unseasonably cooler and lingering spring this year. But enough about the weather.

Fun and full. That was April.

For the second time this year, Matt held down the fort beautifully for a few days while I traveled with most of our missions team from church for a conference in Asheville, NC. Matt got to see some of Brennan’s fun school activities up close and personal. This time it was the petting zoo. This boy has come a long way. Once upon a time he would’ve melted in mess of fear and trembling being so close to the bunnies.

These were the amazing people from our church whom I had the privilege of traveling with to NC. It was a jam-packed weekend that left our brains overloaded. But it was also an incredible time to see believers from all over the world come together with a united vision of purpose and mission to share Jesus’ love. I don’t know why I am so blessed with these opportunities to be a part of a group like this, but I am very thankful.

I can’t talk about the month of April without giving a huge shout-out to Matt. I mean, seriously. Four days with the kids by himself on a school day and the weekend; juggled a soccer game and a birthday party all in the same morning; everyone was alive and happy and the house was in order when I got home. He is an amazing, supportive man, and one other gift I have no idea how I was so blessed to receive.

He even put together this fun video for me to watch while I was away.

https://vimeo.com/63375116

Look at my boots, everyone. They’re pretty spiffy.

She’s become quite the momma. Even the sweet ladies in our church nursery have labeled her the nurturer of all the baby dolls as she cares for them one by one.

My beautiful birthday flowers from my husband.

I don’t remember the last time I had a donut. So on the day of my birthday, the day that actually began three weeks of sickness in our home, I treated the kids to Round Rock donuts. I’m not exaggerating when I say this boy scarfed his down like he hadn’t eaten in days. I think he wouldn’t have hesitated eating the renowned gigantic RR donut if I’d let him.

After our first of five doctor’s appointments, we made a spontaneous spot at Brushy Creek Park to play. It happened to have some fabulous patches of bluebonnets. In between throwing rocks in the lake and pretend fishing, I was able to catch this treasure.

He’s my tree climbing monkey.

She’s my peek-a-booer.

And these are good and perfect gifts from a really good Father.

April marked a first for our boy: he played on his first soccer team, Team Avalanche! We’ve held off joining a team and adding additional things to our schedule, but we thought we’d give this season a test run. It’s been a lot of fun. We made it onto Coach Travis and Alex’s team, and we were really sad when Alex broke his arm. He’ll resume play in a couple of weeks, but meanwhile, he’s been an excellent cheering fan as he watches his team play.

Brennan is an intense, serious player and it shows all over his face as he’s running up and down the field. You can also tell he’s a rule follower by how studiously he stays within the boundaries.

The weekend of my birthday we had the above soccer game that my parents came in town for, and I was spoiled with a pedicure and something else unmentionable that will rank up there as one of my most embarrassing moments ever. When I returned home with my face still flushed red, I walked into this beautiful table set by my momma for my birthday dinner of homemade chicken curry. Pure loveliness.

And the cake! It tasted just as gorgeous as it looks.

For the month of April, Matt and I helped lead the nursery kids at church. Only my husband would think to make use of the clown noses given as a party favor for the attention-getting, entertaining benefit of 3-5 year olds.

A few days prior to this picture I’d thought to myself I wished for more snuggle time with my precious Kensie Jane. After we took Brennan to school, it was apparent my wee one wasn’t feeling well at all. So we went home and did just that…snuggled.

April is our yard work month. Two full weekends we spent cleaning out flower beds, mowing, trimming, weeding, and mulching. It felt so good to be done! The kids helped out and also enjoyed play time with their buddies. We’ve soaked up our time with them as today they are actually moving. Six and a half years of growing in friendship and having the neighbors you dream about where your families commune as often as possible. They’ll still be close, and we’re excited for them, but both Leah and I have said it a number of times: it’s the day we’ve dreaded, and we’re plain ol’ sad.

Matt said it just right: “Working hard or hardly working?”

She’s keen on Lego building!

Hams.

Little sister. Big cheerleader.

Moments like these.

The last day of April, we had a very special visitor: Popsie! He was in town for a conference and joined us for lunch at Brennan’s school. That boy was so excited to show off his grandpa to his friends. He spent the night with us, and I had an extra special treat: a daddy-daughter date at Jack Allen’s! We enjoyed each other’s company for hours.

Only from the fullness of His love have I been given one blessing after another!

For all you precious women: friends, daughters, mothers, those longing for babies, those mourning the loss of babies, those wishing for another day with their momma, sisters, mentors, mothers-in-law…all of you precious, precious women… may you know the deep, deep love and goodness of your Maker this weekend.

Foresight

Christmas morning 1988 wasn’t the Christmas I’d laid in bed awake envisioning with anticipation the night before. Mid-morning Mac ran into Gaga’s kitchen with tears streaming down his face and his hand holding the back of his head. The next thing I knew, my parents swiftly loaded him into the car with blood soaked towels pressed up against an inches-long deep wound, and Mac's tears transformed into wails and screams. He and my cousin had been jumping on the couch and Mac fell backward landing perfectly on the sharp rim of the coffee table, cutting his head open. As I watched the car drive away from the large living room window, I instantly was sick to my stomach. The blood didn't make me queasy, but both the knowledge of my brother in pain and the unknown of what he was going through without me being there, put my stomach in all sorts of knotted contortions. For hours until he returned I laid on the bathroom floor next to the toilet. It was a memorable Christmas, of sorts.

Since then, I have on occasion felt that same bundle of nerves twist around in my stomach because of something Mac was going through. It usually strikes when I'm not with him but want to ever-so-badly be there. While wanting to be there to calm or help him, oddly,the reverse happens: he calms me.

So on Easter night, although so excited I could hardly stand it, I found myself once again knotted and twisted.

My brother was getting ready to see his babies.

And I so badly wanted to be there. To celebrate. To share in the moment. To cheer him on. And to be calmed. The nervous excitement of waiting on pins and needles while Julie delivered those precious babies she's carried for nine months was making my insides bounce and twist. (I recognize I have no legs to stand on talking about my insides as I’m writing about a birth <grin>!) Even after Mac texted with the announcement of their healthy births, I was awake most of the night awaiting more news and pictures.

We are ever so grateful these little ones remained tucked in the center of Julie held by God's hands for as long as they did. Together they totaled over 13 pounds and they didn't have to go into the NICU! Julie should be awarded something great in my book.

I am a doubly blessed aunt that I get to introduce Wynn Law and Mays "Maysie" DeLaddy!

This man, one of my best friends, is a daddy.

My parents flew up to meet their new grandbabies a few days later. I know I have nearly tipped over the edge to obnoxiousness for how much I text Mac asking for news and pictures. He might very well say I’ve already arrived. I have no shame.

Popsie and Mees in heaven.

At two and a half weeks. Pure bundles of love!

I foresee hours of make-believe time playing house, school, airports and restaurants for these two. Secrets between just the two of them that will drive their parents bonkers. Times of rubbing each other the wrong way because they know just the right thing to do and say to get under each other’s skin. I foresee lots of laughter and teasing. One asking the other…pleading with the other…to include them in hang-out times with friends. Tickle times that get out of control because Wynn didn’t know his own strength. At least a couple of times when Maysie wins an Indian-leg wrestling match that she can hold over his head for years to come. I foresee looks across the room that acknowledge how the other is feeling. Wynn coming to Maysie’s defense. Maysie coming to Wynn’s defense. Wynn cheering for Maysie. Maysie cheering for Wynn. Wynn rolling his eyes at Maysie because she’s exhausted her word count for the day, and especially because it was laced with so much emotional and relational info it makes his head want to explode. But he’ll have the patience to listen. And Maysie will be the utmost protector of Wynn, a living guard between girls and her brother. They’ll share a bond of memory and family unlike that of any other. There will be moments of sheer adoration and sheer annoyance. Moments of affection powerful enough to make them feel like they will burst. And from time to time, there will be an anxiously-wrought stomach on behalf of the other, wanting to rush to the other’s side to help, support, to simply be in the other’s presence.

All because of love.

Easter Blessings

There will always be a huge draw for me to write whenever I have the chance. It’s my outlet, and this little blog is my sole record keeping for our family. Ever since becoming a momma, an inner turmoil has existed within me that’s vacillated between a longing to write as often as I can to wondering if I should just give it up all together for a while. I want to write more often, more creatively, more powerfully, more authentically, and when it just seems like I can’t fit the mold I envisioned, my hands want to immediately go up in the air with a white flag waving. And this turmoil has been in me almost. every. single. day. I feel a burst of energy and accomplishment if I wrote something worthwhile, then for days…weeks…until the next post, I beat myself up wondering why I can’t get it done.

So, here’s where I am as I get ready to publish this post I began more than a week ago. Just like all of you, I’ve got a lot on my plate. In grace, trying not to give him the short end of the stick, I’m a wife who is ever so thankful for the husband she had no idea how she got in the first place! And despite having kids who from time to time scream at me when they’re mad or grab toys from each other for the millionth time, I find great pleasure and significance in shaping their little hearts and being home with them. This past year, I have wonderful things I’m involved in with our church community. I have no way to get it all done. My type-A, list-making, organizing freak self has lived in a whirlwind the past four years and I can never catch up. Some seasons I am mostly content with that and some seasons it drives me into literal panic attacks. And in between, I like to write.

But here’s the thing I’ve come to realize that’s taken me a long time to be ok with: this is not my season to write. I’m trying as hard as I can to get something thrown up here weekly that is some semblance of memory-making. My Google Reader has an unread list that’s exponentially growing. Just like everyone else, I need to streamline my time and be wise about it. That means less blog reading and as painful as it is to admit, less blog writing. I share this on here mostly for me, to free me of the inner battle of trying to write more frequently, creatively, and about something more than family news. In sweet surrender onto Him who has placed me in these roles, I lay this non-existent writing season in His hands.

++++++++List of thanksgivings from March 19th-April 1st+++++++++

• Brennan’s school is so much fun. I’m up there any chance I get for their monthly special events, March being the pony rides. They graciously include Kensie. I can’t list his teachers and the director of the school on here enough.

He looks like he’s outgrown ponies.

We joined the cowboy for lunch. As you will tell from other pictures, it’s the year of the silly face.

• Wednesday, March 20th. Hands down it was one of my all-time favorite days. It ended up being a celebration of spring. We made chocolate bird nests in the morning before heading to Lowe’s to get an assortment of beautiful flowers. After rest time we went outside to eat our nests, read Wild Birds and plant together. Brennan participated fully by wearing his gardening gloves and meticulously and ever so carefully placing the flowers in the pot. He gave me thirty minutes of effort and then resorted to playing with the hose.

She always hugs her brother during pictures.

• Some days I’m going to lose my mind refereeing with all the grabbing of toys, but some days are laced with sweet companionship and a variety of pretend play. She is his shadow.

• I’d lose my mind if it weren’t for Matt. He gets the kids out of the house and plays with them allowing me, in this case, to get the food and our home ready for company we had over for dinner.

• We had the vestry and their spouses (who are an invaluable support) over for dinner a couple of Saturdays ago. They are a group of people with whom I love serving and highly value. They entered into our rhythm of Lent and we shared a beautiful evening together.
• All dressed in red and ready to loudly declare, “Hosanna in the highest” on Palm Sunday. The meaning of Easter has sunk deep in Brennan this year, and it’s been one of our highest privileges as his parents to hear his questions, see him processing and intently listening. Maundy Thursday was a sacred night for our family. We drove to Chuy’s and quickly turned back home after hearing it was a 55 minute wait. God had something else in mind for our family and surprised us with His Spirit. I’ve personally journaled what happened to remember it. But the Lord was in our home and it was a capstone for our family.

• Dying Easter eggs was fun and wasn’t as messy as I anticipated. Yes, I’m thankful for that.

• We have a very special church community. I can’t describe the depth of love I have for our congregation; I highly esteem them. Our Good Friday service is a night of testimony using the last seven words of Jesus. Each personal story fits with His last words (i.e. “It is finished.”). My brothers and sisters are courageous. They lift up His cross and His resurrection; His suffering and His glory; His life and His death; His becoming nothing and His reigning over all…all of who He is was lifted high through the words of their testimonies.

• Jesus Christ has risen! He is risen indeed! I believe in the resurrection of Jesus Christ, and I love Him ever so much!
• Easter service growing up was my all-time favorite service. Throughout Lent we’d see a huge wooden cross in the front of the church, covered with chicken wire. On Good Friday, it was hung with black cloth. On Easter morning, all the families would bring in fresh cut flowers to stick in the chicken wire so what remained was a cross laden with splashes of bright color, signs of life and a sweet aroma.

My second favorite part of the Easter service was the last song we’d sing during communion called “I Am the Resurrection”. The trumpets and horns would resound with glorious declaration as we sang at the tops of our lungs. It was the last song played during our wedding after communion. And now I find myself among a community of believers who play the song on Easter Sunday as well. A tender smile of affirmation from Matt when they started playing it shows how well he knows me. That song. That song will be played at my memorial service.

• Smiles from Donna Jane and Kensington Jane.

• I’m grateful for a family who let me take the “let’s go out to eat on Easter” wild card this year. We feasted at Jack Allen’s, a new favorite of ours.

This fella had his shirt untucked with grass stains on his pants within minutes. As we dressed for church, I wrongly thought he had pants that fit! Somehow overnight, he outgrew two other pairs of pants he tried on before he managed to squeeze into the pair he wore. I am not exaggerating when I tell you he has eight, EIGHT, pairs of pants in his closet he has either outgrown or worn holes through since November.

The kids were more excited about the Easter egg hunt than the few gifts in their baskets. The baskets and eggs provided days of entertainment.

• More on this later because it deserves a blog post all in itself, and you’re champs if you’ve stuck with me this long. But this is a clue as to what was our huge Easter surprise blessing!

• My MOPS mentor mom has been a joy to get to know this year. She had our table out to her amazing log cabin home the Monday after Easter for a sip and see. The kids had another Easter egg hunt and Brennan surprised me with a huge handful of bluebonnets he pulled for me, roots and all.

Tree buds. Good buds. We love the Hoyts.

Not exactly what I was going for, but I’ll take them however they come <grin>.

 

Virginian-Style Holidays

Our Christmas celebrating didn’t end on Christmas Day. On the 26th we scurried around to pack up all the Christmas décor and clean house in order to catch a flight by noon on the 27th. My family graciously went along with my OCD shenanigans to get things in order before we left town, and my parents came for the afternoon on the 26th to help with our halflings and eat our last bit of good Mexican food before our return in January.

We were D.C. bound to split a visit between Mac and Julie and Matt’s family.

We loved our visit with these two. They make us laugh until we cry; they teach my kids bad things that will come back to bite them but which makes them a really cool aunt and uncle; and they take us to the most amazing places to eat!

Little Julie was unexpectedly put on bed rest the middle of December, and so we kept things pretty low key. If you can take a moment right now to stop and pray for her, Mac and the twins, I’d sure appreciate it. The twins are due in April and we’re praying for them to hold tight at least until March.

Elevation Burger was the first place we hit when we arrived. An evening’s perfect end always includes dessert; in this case it was a sublime milkshake.

We experienced what seemingly will be our only winter this season. We actually wore jackets and hats; that’s sadly unheard of in these Texas parts. It was our first visit to Mac and Julie’s since they moved into their home two years ago in Arlington. We definitely wanted to slip in a visit pre-kids and we’ll head back there after the twins are born. Their home is so cute with tons of character and charm! And the backyard is graced with a fun gazebo in which their kids will play lots of pretend games.

On Friday the 28th, our family ventured into the city and went to the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History. The exhibit of choice: the dinosaurs of course! The tyrant lizard king, the T-rex, is still a mainstay part of our household conversations.

Aside from Brennan running away from us on a busy D.C. street because he was avoiding correction, and the ensuing stressful discourse between me and Matt, it was a great morning.

Our most favorite place to eat was Ted’s Bulletin. I mean, who wouldn’t want some amazing French toast, eggs, and cheese grits!? Plus an as-big-as-yo-face cinnamon roll that we all split. And homemade pop-tarts! I mean, really now!

Upon exiting Ted’s Bulletin, the snow flurries came softly floating down from the sky, and it was beautiful! It was officially Kensington’s first snow. It didn’t stick or accumulate, but it was exciting nevertheless.

One of the best things about vacation: uninhibited snuggle time. In the mornings. During naps. It was bliss.

After pizza on Sunday night, we drove to Baltimore’s Gaylord Hotel for the light show and to view all the spectacular Christmas decorations.

The kids rode the train together, and Brennan was a caring, protective big brother who put his arm around her the whole time.

Our stylin’ doll.

This was the best Philly cheesesteak place. Gotta toast some tater-tots to that!

On New Year’s Eve we said our “see ya later’s” to Mac and Julie (who will have two babies the next time we see them!), and drove to Charlottesville to spend a few days with Matt’s family. The cousins had a fabulous time playing together, and Kensie brought a pleasant touch of femininity to the bunch.

Kim is event-planner extraordinaire. Our rooms had welcome notes and flowers; she made extravagant meals like this one for New Year’s morning, and she meaningfully put together family Q&A times and games that were some of our highlights.

If you want a shot in the arm of creativity and imagination, just spend a bit of time with Kim! This is a package she made for Brennan and Kensington. One thing the kids don’t have: SNOW! In the box she included all things snow related like snow play-dough, hot chocolate, and The Snowy Day.

Feeling beautiful and connected in our matching pashminas.

A cousin visit isn’t complete without the token bathtub picture.

These two boys couldn’t get enough of each other.

A most special highlight was visiting Matt’s 93 year old grandfather. He met Kensie Jane for the first time and prayed a blessing over her, and we also got to see some of his army gear from WWII.

Matt’s Aunt Laura has one of the biggest dogs we’ve ever seen, Nelson.

We hit the jackpot with all the fun animal visits. Matt’s other aunt, Elaine, owns a horse named Micah, and we all went out riding one day. I felt like I was channeling my mother watching my son ride bare-back on a trotting horse, holding my breath, something she did a thousand times watching Mac on his horse. What an adrenaline rush.

Papa and Nana have their hands full.

Another glimpse at Aunt Kim’s imagination: playing pirates.

For our Christmas present to the adults, Matt and I treated them to a nice dinner out while a couple of Matt’s aunts kindly babysat the kids for us. It’s always a special occasion to have a kid-less dinner and be able to really talk <grin>.

Look at the deer!

Charlottesville has an incredible inflatable play area that also has an indoor paint room where the kids can paint on the windows.

Our last night together we had our family talent show, a tradition we started the last couple of years with the kids. Baxter showed off his muscles; Jadon played guitar and sang; Papa and Nana did a skit, our family acted out the book What the Ladybug Heard.

Papa and Nana lovies.

 

Aunt Melissa lovies.

Two little monkeys climbing up a tree.

For Brennan’s birthday, Mac and Julie gave him the donkey he never stopped talking about after our Thanksgiving get together. And in typical Mac and Julie fashion, they helped name the donkey something utterly ridiculous: Ba-donk-a-donk, which according to the Urban dictionary means a “nice booty”…and that’s one of the tamer definitions. So now I have a child who goes around proudly introducing his stuffed donkey as “Ba-donk-a-donk”. I apologize in advance, and Mac and Julie know what’s comin’ to them.

On January 5th we returned home just in time to start preparing for the rest of the January birthday celebrations…

December is When...

We finally need to rake leaves in Central Texas.

 

The kids and I picked out a tree named Jared that we didn’t know was as tall as it was until we compared it to Matt when he brought it home. It ended up being just right, but I gasped when I first saw him stand next to it, dismally succumbing to my defeat against the hanging of the lights.

 

We had our St. Nicholas celebration, December 7th, which can be explained (if you’re interested) by reading this post by Micha, in which she beautifully writes about Advent and ritual. We’re still tweaking how we celebrate Christmas; at times it feels awkward because there are a few differences compared to how we grew up, but we’ve got a starting point. The night of our St. Nicholas celebration we pick an international food for dinner. This year we opted for Chinese. And Brennan had the privilege of staying up later with us to watch “The Muppets Christmas Carol” while eating ice cream. He was giddy and felt very special. Saturday morning the kids woke up to their stockings with a few gifts in them (that coincides with St. Nicholas’ story).

 

 

We had a festive pancake breakfast.

 

Traditionally, the Saturday of our St. Nicholas celebration will be an act of service day. But embarrassingly, that small detail flew way over my head this year and I scheduled for us all to go see a play instead: Annie Jr. It was a great play. Brennan sat all the way through it; Kensie was escorted out by her father with twenty minutes left.

We trimmed the tree, and I didn’t have a wrestling match with the lights!

 

 

 

 

 

We watched Kensington soak up her first Christmas she was aware of all the beauty and excitement around her.

 

An afternoon was set aside to bake Christmas cookies,

 

in which most of the dough was eaten before it was baked,

and I enthusiastically wrapped around my own little girl a handmade apron my Momma made that used to be mine.

 

The brother and sister had some fun days together and made me smile

.

 

I dressed Kensie up in an assortment of special Christmas outfits given to us. On this particular morning, we watched Brennan in his school Christmas performance where he had the heebie-jeebies and embarrassing gyrations. I have the video to prove it.

 

Mees came for a visit and lots of snuggles!

A gingerbread house was made…and eaten by the boys in our home. Who actually eats it?!

The four of us cozied up together,

 

and enjoyed a night out on the town.

 

We had leisurely mornings playing dress up.

 

Driving through Round Rock’s Rock ‘N Lights in our PJs was a nighttime treat.

A run to Target to buy hats and mittens at the last minute for our trip to Virginia was required. Do you see the irony of this photo? He’s wearing shorts and short sleeves and we’re out buying a hat!

 

We marveled at a little girl who uses everything for dress up.

 

Eating lunch one day with Daddy at his work was a fun but failed attempt to steal him away for the holidays early.

 

It was a good thing we went out to dinner to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary because the lovely meal I made the night of would have been more lovely and peaceful had we waited to eat it after the unpeaceful children were tucked in bed.

 

We spent Christmas Eve with this beautiful lady who gave me and the kids our Christmas attire. I felt so dollied-up!

 

 

Brennan was in his first Christmas pageant as a donkey and I donned my first angel costume in twenty-five years. I was asked to help corral the baby barn-yard animals, and it was such fun to help and do it with Brennan!

We took one of my all-time favorite pictures,

opened up our traditional Christmas Eve PJs,

 

and settled down for a long winter’s nap.

We arose bright and early Christmas morn to a delightful, unrushed rhythm whereby we made breakfast and had a special setting at the table for Jesus to join us. I ate Jesus’ birthday waffle we set before Him. It was yummier than all the others <grin>.

 

Presents were given and received. Brennan bellowed out an excited, “Thank you!” when he first opened our gift to him (a remote control car), which brought tears to our eyes, and then we spent the duration of the holidays battling the entitled “gimme's”.

Any gift comparable to what big brother has is awesome!

 

Once again, anything is a necklace and a headpiece.

Popsie and Mees joined us Christmas afternoon! Popsie had just flown in from Florida and he was pounced on when he walked through our door.

 

I was scared out of my mind I was going to ruin Christmas dinner. I paid a literal arm and a leg for an awesome piece of beef tenderloin, and tears would have been shed had it not been successful. Momma and I worked together to prepare it, and it turned out just right! If I may say so, dinner was pretty spectacular. In case you’re wondering, it’s wrapped in phyllo dough.

 

 

We closed the evening secure and satisfied in the Light of the world that graciously came to give Himself for us. He really is beautiful.

 

 

 

Not Our Usual Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was a tad unusual for us this year and very extraordinary. It was also my Momma’s birthday. A big birthday. A very big birthday. So in the same manner in which we celebrated for my dad’s big birthday a couple of years ago, we also rejoiced over the very special woman in our lives. My parents generously treated our family and Mac and Julie to five days at the Lost Pines Resort. Momma was lavished with love and the rest of us were able to partake in the spoiling.

It never seems to fail that at least one of our kiddos is sick when we spend time with my family. The Wednesday morning before Thanksgiving I was rushing to get out the door to pick up Mac and Julie at the airport and get things set up at the hotel. Kensie decided it was the day she’d sleep in until 8 a.m. which in and of itself is actually worth giving Matt a high five over, but on this day, it was because the most putrid smell seeped from her room. A mix of vomit and diarrhea made a most unwelcome visit that morning. And we dealt with it the first few days of our trip, as well as a bronchial nuisance in the form of a cough that kept me and Brennan up through the night. Aside from dealing with those unpleasantries in close quarters, we had a grand time!

I was able to add some extra touches to the weekend starting off with flowers and gift baskets in the rooms.

While I got the rooms set up, the rest of the gang experienced a true taste of Texas.

Despite my kids’ sicknesses, Popsie and Mees were quick to welcome the germ-infested carrier monkeys anywhere.

Wednesday night we had a welcome picnic. The Lord blessed us with a gorgeous evening. I found a fun website that gave me some inspiration. We started off with wine, cheese and crackers, and then inside each of the picnic boxes, I had containers of broccoli, grape and pasta salad, winter fruit salad, and molasses-spice crinkles (my new favorite cookie).

One of the great things about this unusual Thanksgiving was that we didn’t have any cooking or cleaning up to do! A highlight from the day were games of tetherball that literally had us keeling over from laughter. No one wanted to play the 6’5” tall guy who ruthlessly kept the ball spinning above our heads. We also discovered that Momma had a tetherball set in her yard as a child and she was pretty good!

On our way down to fill our bellies with an out-of-this-world Thanksgiving Day buffet! I had a simple prayer: that neither kid would get sick at the table. We left right as Kensie had a diaper blowout, so I consider that prayer answered. Popsie was in charge of Brennan’s plate, and he ended up eating French toast for Thanksgiving. And he spoke of it all weekend long <grin>. The food y’all. How we can be blessed with so much good food astounds me.

This dude loves riding his bike!

That night we had German chocolate cake, champagne and opened presents. There was obviously a lot of R&R this weekend, too. Half our celebrating took place on Popsie and Mees’ bed.

Look what we woke up to on Friday morning! Elves were at work during the night and a life-size gingerbread house was on display as well as all of their other Christmas decorations. Wouldn’t that be awesome if it worked like that in our own homes?

Friday the boys took the kids and played hard while we girls were treated to some amazing spa time! For hours we sat in the spa in our robes next to a fire visiting, munching on snacks, and getting pampered with a massage or facial. We walked around very relaxed and sedated the rest of the day.

Brennan became very attached to the donkeys, that humorously we heard bray every morning at 7 a.m. On the last night of our trip, Brennan thought his Uncle Mac and Aunt Julie were going to buy him a stuffed animal donkey in the gift store. Upon discovering he was mistaken, the kid fell down on the floor in a fake crying fit. He wasn’t even fully recovered the next morning, whimpering on the way to church about how much he wanted the stuffed donkey to sleep with. The one redeeming factor is that he’s going to be a donkey in the Christmas pageant, and he’s thrilled! It did take some effort, however, to explain why we weren’t bringing the costume home.

A stay at Lost Pines isn’t a complete stay without s’mores by the fire!

Saturday was quite leisurely with more visits to see the donkeys.

Then we had to revisit the tetherball pole for a family championship game. This girl took home the prize.

Our first couple of days there the weather was swim-worthy. It cooled down our last few days, which was more welcome given that it was the end of November! The cooler temps, however, didn’t keep the guys from diving into the lazy river. Whatever Popsie and Mac do, Brennan will do. The little guy didn’t even wince!

Finally, he’s sleeping!!

Saturday night we went to a restaurant my parents have wanted to try for years: Fonda San Miguel. The talking parrot was the highlight for the kids. And the food was pretty tasty, too!

My beautiful Momma, who in my humble opinion, hardly looks like it’s a very big birthday!

Julie has the cutest little baby bump and we are thrilled to find out the twins’ genders this week!

Personally, one of the most precious things about our Thanksgiving was to see all the hard work and creativity my Daddy put into our time together. Whether it was the creative notes and invitations he sent us all months ago or the personalized gifts he arranged for Momma to receive the last month, he poured his heart out into all of it. He did a fabulous job setting the tone and making it extremely special. And well, I think they are simply the cutest.

This picture taken outside in the dark with my phone didn’t result in the greatest picture but I love it.

Some nights, Mac, Julie, Matt and I would stay up playing games and watching football. They’re pretty cool to hang out with, even if they beat us game after game.

We packed up on Sunday morning, went to church and then out for a final lunch before having to part ways. We had the best time together last week, and there is so much for which we are thankful. Our times together are strongly anticipated. The next time we’re all together there will be two more little babies and we can’t wait!

If you ask me, this unusual Thanksgiving is more than welcome to become the usual.

Finally…I Can Spill Some Beans

For the last three weeks, my fingers have been itching to share some incredible news with you all, and finally…FINALLY…I got the go-ahead. Actually, the week of Kensie’s dedication was by far one of the most emotional weeks I’ve ever experienced. Not only did we have an incredible celebration, but within a span of a week, we received news of answered prayers to three very significant circumstances we’d been asking and talking to Jesus about. Some of them have been prayers for years. So to take in the amazing answers to each of these prayers in a matter of days was slaying.

God showed off a lot that week! For this dessert lover, He didn’t just bring out a variety of ice cream for us to feast upon for dessert (as amazingly tasty a scoop of Bluebell mint chocolate chip can be), but He brought out a platter of delectables that far surpassed what we could ever put together ourselves, perfectly designed for each of our palettes. It was a resounding, “Look. Let me show you what I am capable of,” kind of week. And in His gentle splendor, He let us feast upon His goodness.

I have the privilege of sharing one of those answers to prayer this evening. And as I’ve been waiting eagerly for permission to do so, I find myself at a loss for words. Maybe this will be a good clue.

Guesses?

Take it in. Look closely. Don’t miss it. Because at first glance I did and was told I passed the pictures too quickly. Already in tears of excitement and gratitude when Mac and Julie shared their news, I yanked the sonogram pictures out of Matt’s dad’s hands to get a closer look. And at that point, my face turned into a dumbfounded, unbelievable, can’t-believe-my-eyes kind of expression. I don’t think my jaw has come off the ground yet.

Not only is my little brother and his precious wife pregnant with their first baby, they are going to have TWINS!

Their due date is around April 23rd, but more likely the TWINS (holy cow!) will arrive the end of March. And Mac and Julie find out the genders around November 9th. Mac and Julie have received more texts from me in the last three weeks; if anyone will wear them down with excitement, it will be me. I am a giddy aunt exploding with joy and storing up love to pour into these children. The itching in my fingers is calming down slightly, but my heart is still pounding.

As we celebrate the fruition of hopes deferred that we received a few weeks ago through answered prayers, I know that there are a number of you still waiting. Waiting for direction, for healing, for answers from God, for jobs, for a deep longing. As I’ve prepared to write this blog, I’ve been thrilled to share this news, but those of you who are in a holding pattern that’s achy and hard, you’ve not been far from my thoughts and prayers as well. I pray this night that as you read, that you would be strengthened in your waiting upon the Lord, that you would have the courage to keep pressing into Him, and the grace to keep trusting. It’s hard and it’s not easy. But He is good and He loves you, and He completely satisfies every crevice of our beings that needs to be filled.

My love to each of you tonight.

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness

of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

Psalm 27:13-14

Gathered Together

Kensington Jane is one dearly loved little girl.

Eleven of us gathered around her last weekend. Her Papa and Nana arrived from Virginia. Her Aunt Julie and Uncle Mac from Washington D.C. Popsie flew in from Florida. Mees drove from San Antonio. Jillie and Haddie trekked down I-35. And then there was her Mommy, her Daddy and her big brother. It was a dedication weekend of sorts, something informal not at church, but in our home. Matt and I declared our ongoing commitment to raise Kensie in complete and utter dependence upon her Creator to help us show her His unfathomable love, that she may also come to love Jesus with her whole heart. Those who joined with us also care about the outcome of her faith and promised to pray for her and help us as parents to follow through with our pledge (‘cause we’re gonna need all the help we can get!).

These two were ready for the festivities to begin Friday evening! I can’t thank Ed and Ruth enough for taking them off my hands Friday morning so I could cook and get the last minute things in order. My mind would have been lost somewhere between the bowl of cooked mushrooms and the beaten egg and milk mixture. They’re cute, but don’t we all know they have a very keen way of knowing it’s a day Momma has lots to do, and they know how to add a bit of somethin’-somethin’ to the day…like A.T.T.I.T.U.D.E.

 

We had a scrumptious dinner of salpicon (I’ll have to post the recipe soon), guacamole, and chile con queso. My mouth still waters thinking about it. There are two things to note about that evening. First, my dad tucked Brennan into bed at 8 p.m. We didn’t see him emerge from the bedroom until a couple hours later. And secondly, at 2 a.m., we were awakened by panicked cries and the grossest aftermath of throwing up I have yet to deal with. I don’t have a sensitive gag reflux, but that night, boo-ya! It wasn’t the loveliest all-nighter I’ve pulled, but I did get to hold my boy throughout the ordeal.

Saturday we ventured to College Station for the Texas A&M vs. Arkansas football game. It seemed Brennan was doing well since he was once again, running all around, so with our rain gear in tow, we ventured to Aggieland. What a blast! There was only about a fifteen minute consistent rain, but other than that, we were able to enjoy the game. Brennan covered his ears much of the time, not liking the boisterous cheers or the regular cannon fires. But Kensie didn’t blink an eye. As long as she had the bucket of popcorn in front of her, she was one happy, crowd-lovin’ girl.

Jillie and Haddie met up with us later Saturday night for dinner at Mighty Fine. It’s an incredible gift to look down the table at the ten other people seated next to you, realizing they all made this trek to be there for you, for your family, for your little girl. The laughter and even the tears shared among this group are treasured. And note to self: for the sake of my self-esteem, there should be very few times in life when Jill and Mac should be together in my presence; they have too similar senses of humor for my liking, particularly when it’s at my expense <grin>.

And then we arrive to Sunday. I wish I had words to describe my overflow of joy and gratitude. Brennan and Kensie have been gifted a legacy of people who follow and love Jesus, and who are are on their knees regularly on his and her behalf. Some of our family couldn’t make it, but they called, sent emails and prayers. They were here and a part of this occasion, too.

In three different cars, we ventured to church, ready to be there on time (a miracle with 11 people!) and stand together in worship. Then bless his heart, Brennan threw up again all over Papa and Nana’s car half way there.

Love: Ed and Ruth’s graciousness at the now horrible stench and grossness all over their car. Love: Ruth’s gentle hands cleaning up my son with baby wipes. Love: My daddy and momma’s willingness to take Brennan home, clean him up and care for him. Love: for the rest of our guests to just go with the flow and not complain that they may get the sick cooties in forty-eight hours (which, another miracle: no one did!).

It took a good twenty minutes for me to not feel like a panicked wreck. Another thing to note about this weekend: Kensie didn’t like Mac. Wouldn’t go to him. Pulled away and shook her head. This is unprecedented! And Julie jumped for joy that it was the first baby that didn’t like him, and instead went directly into her arms. After much coaxing, Kensie finally went to my brother…for just enough time to capture this shot before she literally lunged to my arms.

We all made it home to a feast! Jillie made us a sausage and egg casserole. I made this and had a crepe bar.

If we’d let people, they would have taken naps right then and there, but we circled around our living room instead, to have a time of sharing and prayer for Kensie. The two older kiddos bounded up the stairs and played. Kensie scooted on the floor in between our feet playing with anything along the way. And the rest of us shared what God put on our hearts to pray for this precious gift of a girl.

I’d asked people to pray about a specific virtue or character trait for Kensie. They could write a prayer, just share, or give a symbolic gift that represented what the Lord led them to pray over her. I couldn’t wait to see what God came up with for His girl!

Kindness

Patience

Humility

Strength, Dignity, and the Ability to Laugh at the Days to Come

Treasured Gift

Joy

Sense of Humor

Perseverance

Courage

A Pure Heart

It was wonderfully overwhelming! Flabbergasting in a most special way. And very humbling to see the outpouring of love from our family and the abundant grace of our God throughout the entire weekend! One blessing after another He has given to us by each person seated in that room.

What words do you have as one by one, each person shared their prayers on behalf of your little girl? What words do you have as you watch tears flow because the emotion and beauty of the moment is so pure and tender and too much to take? What words do you have as you fall before a God who can be the Only One to instill these God-originated, God-breathed, God-like traits into your little girl? What words do you have when you recognize how far you fall short in even trying to be an example to her of these virtues let alone teach her what they are? What words do you have as you look around the room and recognize how each have been faithful to Jesus in spite of so many obstacles that could bring them down and turn away? What words do you have when you realize that these intercessions do not fall on deaf ears, but they will linger in eternity and bring such pleasure to the One who listens and acts? What words do you have but to acclaim His goodness, His faithfulness?

My heart is still so tender thinking about that sacred weekend. Tears fall easily out of such gratitude and joy.

Oh, merciful Lord, you are so, so good! In that room represented so many stories of your faithfulness to us, your goodness, and even in this week, so many answered prayers that I don’t have time to share in this post. But OH, Lord, I can only pause in the middle of this post and say ‘thank you’. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Only You. Only You. We are so grateful for each person in that room who was there and for the ones who longed to be here but couldn’t. I am a blubbering mess, Jesus. Oh, You are so worthy of praise. Thank you for a treasured weekend of memories, laughter, shared tears, prayers that don’t fall deaf on your ears. You hear. You know. You see. And you were with us in every aspect of our weekend, and I thank you.

Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord. They rejoice in your Name all day long; they celebrate your righteousness.

Psalm 89:15-16

Our Team

At night, when the sun has set and the dark settles in, it's when the knots come. Slowly they tighten and churn in my stomach, arising the demon of anxiety. The lists, used to being crossed off faithfully the last 15 years of my life, are left hanging, day after day, week after week, unfinished, and in most cases, untouched. Why can't I get it all done? I've cut out so much in the last few months to allow quiet space but still, the to-dos linger. I let the anxiety choke out joy and peace. So at night, the thoughts of all I need to do, want to do, plague my mind.

It is something that in the last six years I've come to recognize. Stress, anxiety: it makes me angry. It makes me lash out at the nearest loved one. Sometimes that means my children receive the brunt of my uncontrolled emotions. More often, however, it is my husband, the one who vowed to love me for better or worse. 

In the dating, falling-in-love phase, everything was so pristine. Our view of each other mostly untarnished. Just as time slowly erodes at our bodies, so has the veneer of my inner self. In marriage, all is exposed. And yet, he loves me. He really, really loves me. Only he who loves me could time and time again remind me that we are on the same team. Every time I let my stress turn to anger, I forget. Though I treat him as the opponent at best, my enemy at worst, his hand will softly stroke my cheek moving a stray strand of hair out of my face and remind me, We are on the same team. 

When these words of his actually venture through my ears and penetrate my heart, I can breath again. The temper stills. The knots, they cease churning. There's hope: my team, they have my back. The lists still remain uncrossed and untouched, but the truth that I'm not alone, it lingers sweetly. And the darkness of my inner demons is shattered by the light of my husband's loving response.

Our team has two little players. They have a bird's eye view of their momma's weaknesses of anxiety and anger, that coupling not being comprehensive. They also hear I'm sorry, please forgive me while I'm whispering in the depths of my heart for help from on high. Because Jesus, He's the only one that will keep this team together, and whole, and mended in the midst of all of us being cracked, clay pots.

For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.
2 Corinthians 4:5-7

These photos were taken by the amazingly talented Hollie Rouse at Rubigirl Photography. We are so grateful for her work!

Simply trusting,

We Made It

We made it! We made it through the swirling month of birthdays. We made it through some of the most tumultuous days of parenting yet…and lived to tell about it. We survived bronchitis and a double ear infection for the boy and the girl’s first ear infection. We made it through a visit from Matt’s folks that was wonderful even though it was sprinkled with some of the three year old’s maelstrom.

Only today, after much trepidation of what the day would hold, not wanting to wake up to what I might face with my man-child, I am breathing a sigh of relief. My boy, newly turned over into the 3s, shows signs of extra determination to get his way and displays an eruption of emotion otherwise, (typical of what many of you mothers of 3 year olds have testified to). But the deep sigh of relief comes because it looks like 75% of the meltdowns of gargantuan proportions, the stinging scowls and accompanying attitude over the last few days were stirred by the ear infections and bronchitis.

Granted, my own wretched mommy moments (of which there were many the last few days that prompted a number of sincere apologies to the treasured ones I’m supposed to be a good steward of), didn’t help matters; I made it worse. What’s even more troubling is that they occurred when my children weren’t feeling well!

I’ve found Ann Voskamp’s seventh point in her Joyful Parenting Manifesto to ring true: in the moments where my child’s behavior and attitude are most grotesque to me, I’ve found the act of drawing ever closer to that child melts away the hardened heart and tears. A smile. A gentle touch. A soothing word. If only I’d remember this and not let my voice raise to a high shrill. If only I’d remember this before I walk away in utter frustration wanting to wring my hands out in anger. If only I’d remember that love covers a multitude of sins. “God, help me,” is a prayer uttered in both silence and out loud throughout my days. May it be so for evermore.

And today, after some war-wounds from the last few days, I am breathing a sigh of relief and giving thanks that we made it! At least through this bit of time, we made it. It’s enough to spur up enough desire and energy in me to tell you how we celebrated Brennan’s third birthday this year.

Brennan Matthew turned three years old on January 16th. We had a few of his and Kensington’s buddies over for a small play group, which would have worn him out if that was the sole activity of the day. But we piled on the celebrating by going to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch on top of it. My momma came into town to join us and Matt met us there, too. The five of us chowed down on some pizza and the chocolate pie Mees made for her grandson. Out of the three times we’ve been to Chuck E. Cheese, this was the first that Brennan wasn’t afraid of going on the rides. And it should come as no surprise that his favorite was the horse race.

While the little girl conked out, the birthday boy was so hyped up after his play group and lunch that he couldn’t nap. It made for a very long but fun-filled day.

The next day, Matt, Kensie and I took Chick-fil-A to Brennan’s school to eat lunch with him. I’ve done that a few times since he started going and I love joining him and his two teachers and eight other classmates for lunch! We all sit around the same table to eat together. It gives me opportunity to know each of the kiddos by name and get glimpses into their personalities. For example, I know the quiet and reserved ones, and I also know who gets the conversation going rapidly and with gusto. Brennan falls somewhere between those two <grin>.

I came a little early to pick him up so I could deliver his birthday cupcakes to his class and eat along with them.

I made sure Kensie was dressed up for the celebration.

Matt’s parents arrived on his birthday, the 19th. Here are Papa and Nana, meeting Kensie Jane for the first time. What an answer to prayer!

As part of the continued birthday celebration for the three year old, we all took Brennan to Shepplers for him to pick out a cowboy hat. Upon getting in the car to tell him what we were going to do, he added, “And boots?!” We kept telling him we were going to get a hat. And every time he added, “And boots.” A true cowboy has to have both, I guess. So that’s what he got <grin>.

Little girl had to try on a hat for fun.

I had to try on a cowgirl hat and boots, too.

On Saturday, we took advantage of our fully decked out cowboy and took him to a farm in Georgetown to ride horses. What a fantastic time we had! My momma drove into town for the rodeo haulin’ a big ol’ chocolate cake! We stayed out there for about four hours and took a picnic lunch. Matt and his dad rode, too, and so did yours truly. But I came to the realization that my son is braver than I.

Three different horses were saddled: Comanche (a pony), Big Mama, and Poncho. Brennan rode all three! Big ‘uns are his favorite, but he did trot on Comanche. Poncho was awesome and walked Brennan around slowly without any of us leading him, but Poncho also had a wild side that moved pretty darn fast when Papa and Matt were riding.

For the record, we kept trying to push Brennan’s hat back so he could see, but he liked it better the way it was.

Brennan even enjoyed leading them on his own.

Little Kensie girl in her boot tights from Nana.

This was a rare moment when Kensie smiled around the horses; otherwise, she broke out into a large grimace and started crying. Molly is the largest animal she’s comfortable being around, I suppose.

Our cowboy had a blast!

Absolute craziness:

Brennan’s first birthday on the left; second birthday on the right.

And now, his third.

Our love spills over for this cowboy, “we-made-it” days and all!