Although loving Polka more and living in the truth of how much God loves me will be an ongoing journey in my life, this post will conclude this special series I've written over the past two months.  In case you haven't read the first and second parts to this series, you can click here for Part I and here for Part II.  But I just had to write about one of my most favorite days with Polka and Jesus, a date that all three of us took together, a day that helped me bond with Polka and that the Lord showered His Presence upon us so tenderly and purposefully. 

The night before our 12 week doctor's appointment, I decided I needed to initiate a time to spend with the Lord and with Polka, to journal and reflect upon all that had happened up to that point:  my feelings, the doctors' appointments, etc...  Having avoided much journaling and processing in the weeks prior to this time, I thought it might help me to start reflecting on what the Lord was doing in my life, and literally in my belly!  So I planned that after our morning appointment, I would head to Borders at The Domain and hopefully find a baby journal that I liked.  I'd spend some time journaling and then eat lunch at one of my favorite places in The Domain, The Steeping Room.  It was such a girly thing to do, so hopefully if Polka is a boy, I hope he didn't mind it too much. 

It was a perfect summer day in Austin on Wednesday, June 25.  With the video tape in hand, Matt enthusiastically accompanied me to the doctor's office for our 12 week appointment where we'd get to hear Polka's heartbeat for the first time and see a much clearer picture of our baby.  No longer just an image of a fuzzy spot, we could easily pinpoint various body parts, including the hand and fingers which waved to us a number of times, the head, umbilical cord, and the feet.  Polka had us in hysterics during this appointment because he/she was very determined not to budge and move into the position the nurse needed Polka to be in despite the pokings and proddings (which were very rough, by the way) on my tummy by the nurse to get Polka to change positions.  Either quite comfortable or quite stubborn, Polka wasn't cooperative at all.  I choose, in faith, to believe it was the former reason.  All to say, it was an amazing time to get a glimpse of Polka, to affirm that everything was ok, and that this is really real!  All of our appointments have been blessings of reassurance along with wellsprings of awe at what is taking place.

Matt and I have a little bench outside of the doctor's office that we sit in after every visit to talk about the appointment, look at the pictures we're taking home, thank the Lord, and decide if we're going to go out for breakfast afterward (a favorite of mine to do with hubby!).  We skipped on breakfast this time since I had another date planned.  Upon walking upstairs in Borders to the baby section, I was immediately greeted by three full-length shelves of books to look through.  I scrapbook so I wasn't looking for something that I could put memorabilia in, but more a guided journal to help me record special and important moments during pregnancy.  Within five minutes of looking, I found the most beautiful, perfect journal that the Lord Himself gave me eyes to see.  And it was the only copy.  It was like it was placed there by Him, just for this moment when He was there with me to start capturing priceless memories.  This precious book is called Love Letters to My Baby by Vickey Banks.  It's a guided journal for expectant and new mothers; some of the topics to write about are:

• Your coming is good news because...
• God hears your heartbeat, and I...
• I want you to know how valuable you are because...
• I first felt you move...
• You are most active when...
• To prepare for your coming...
• To decorate your room...
• At a shower to celebrate you...
• I imagine you will look like...
• When I dream about you...
• When I first saw you...
• Holding you in my arms feels...
• For your big homecoming you wore...
• To me, becoming a mom means...
• You are happiest when...
• Some of your favorite people are...
• Mommy's Memories (some of your famous firsts!)
• When I think of your future...
• I plan to continue showing you God's love by...
• I am committed to...
• When I think about God giving His Son...

Not only are the journal topics the types of things (and more!) I wanted to capture, but the greetings to the baby are precious, and they make my heart tender and excited towards baby Polka:  Dearest...

• Cause of Laughter
• Life Within
• Redecorator of My Heart (oh, this made my mouth drop open because yes, Polka is already this!)
• Little Masterpiece

The three of us sat in Borders for some time journaling, recording those things that I could at that point and then went to lunch where I continued to write and enjoy a scrumptious roast beef sandwich.  It was a delightful date with two of the most important people in my life, a day that felt had the hand of God on it as He gave us a great doctor's appointment to see and hear Polka, guided me to a journal of love letters set apart just for me to give to Polka one day, and was with me as I reflected upon this new gift of life He's given.  It was a most special day of bonding and loving Polka more, and most assuredly I knew I was loved and cared for by the God who knows exactly what I need and when I need it.  So here's to continuing on this journey of learning to love and be loved...and to having my heart redecorated.