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Movin' On Up the Alphabet

Warning to my male readers

I'm going to try very hard to modestly and discretely explain the following story, but be forewarned:  it might be too much info!

In less than two weeks, Matt and I are headed to Colorado.  My dear childhood friend, Lauren, whom I  wrote about coming into town for a girls' weekend (which she asked to be postponed till November) is getting married in Aspen, and then we're tagging on a couple of days in Denver to visit our good friends, Eric and Kim.  Which of course to me means, I need a new dress for the wedding.  And something fairly warm since the wedding is in the mountains and the high for the day we arrive is supposed to be anywhere between 40-50 degrees!  Granted, I haven't felt cold in months, which is a very odd phenomenon to this always-carries-a-jacket-with-her kinda girl, but still, I think I'll still be a bit chilly in 40 degree weather, especially if that's the high. 

So yesterday, Matt and I went to the mall to hunt down a maternity dress I could wear for this special occasion, Christmas, and a nice night out or two for our "babymoon" and anniversary.  We walked into a maternity store, which at first didn't seem to have quite the inventory I was hoping for, until I came across a suit that was on a mannequin and I knew that was it.  At the same time I spotted the outfit of my choice, Matt spotted the other items that were on our shopping list for the day:  new intimate apparel.  Girls, you know what I mean.  You know, the things that pregnant women need to get new ones of because their pre-pregnancy ones are now too small.  Ah, yes.  It's been on my list to get for months, and I just now got around to doing it.  And because I waited until now, it meant that Matt got to be with me; just the thing he wanted to be a part of. 

Standing in front of the huge selection where I had no idea where to start, the sales lady proceeded to ask me, "When was the last time you were measured?"  Uh, measured?  Probably never ever, at least it was so far back in time I can't remember.  Whipping out her trusty measuring tape, she said, "We've just got to measure you," and not only started measuring me in front of Matt, she also used the measuring of my bustline to teach the other sales lady how to do it.  It didn't embarrass me so much as my red-faced husband standing behind me.  Counting the inches quickly, I was mortified to find out that I had grown two cup sizes, and gone up a band size!  My jaw literally dropped to the floor.  I knew I'd grown, but there is no way I could be the 4th letter of the alphabet...no way!  She quickly grabbed the recommended apparel and put it in the dressing room while I snuck in two other sizes that I think I should be, just to see who was right.  Obviously, I was flabbergasted and totally in denial. 

As I walked into the dressing room, the two sales ladies started practicing measuring each other for the sake of teaching the new gal, all to the humbled onlook of my dear hubby, who quickly took a seat outside my dressing room and started playing with his phone...anything to escape one of most awkward scenarios he's ever been in.  Having no real idea of what an ideal "intimate" should look like on me, and trying anything to get out of purchasing the new recommended size, I called in the sales lady to take a look to see how they fit, hoping with all my might she'd confess she suggested one size too big.  Oh, how far I've come since I was 12 years old, hiding behind my Momma, not wanting to have anything to do with the unfamiliar department I was finding my timid self.  Never would I have let a stranger into my dressing room to see how well I was supported and covered!  So as she talked, rather loudly, about how it was supposed to fit, my gentleman of a husband was still seated right outside the dressing room, listening to the whole conversation.  You know you married a good man when he'll sit through such an episode!  

To my sad dismay, she not only informed me that the new size fit perfectly and I'll soon be using the loosest hook, she told me to hold off getting any nursing "intimates" because, "They're just gonna get bigger!"  Lord, have mercy!  While I have no inkling as to how that could possibly happen, I'm also now a walking, breathing testimony as to how the seemingly impossible stretching and growing of one's body in pregnancy really somehow happens, despite all of my efforts to avoid the inevitable.  Even as we were checking out, the two ladies kept talking about how their store's intimate apparel was the most comfortable ever.  One of ladies wears them regularly and she's not even pregnant, confessing that "Switching to work in a maternity store was the best decision she's made for comfort!" 

Humbly, I ended up walking out of the store with my intimates in the new, recommended size, still in shock.  But the joy of finding a dress for the wedding outweighed the ghastly horror of my new reality.  Furthermore, Matt's humorous, nonchalant comments about one of the most awkward situations he's been in were enough to keep us laughing the rest of the afternoon.  Like I said, I married a good man!  And I must say, the new apparel is very comfortable and long overdue!

Comments

My, My you have come such a loonnng way since those first days!! I can only hear the laughter and the shocking "oh, that can't be" from you! I bet you will look beautiful in your new dress as well as "comfortable" underneath!

Like the sale lady said...just wait until you start nursing...it gets scarier:)

I had a hard time as well the first time around realising new things:)

Love, Katie

Oh just wait Meg . . . just wait :) I suggest getting a few of those nursing tanks to tide you over the first few days/weeks until you can get out to get measured for comfortable nursing wear.

all you need to do is talk about boobs to get comments. I would try it on my blog but my brother might read it. Then I would be responsible for him being so strange.
Meg, big boobs are a wonderful gift. Enjoy it.

I'm so glad we can SUPPORT one another! I failed to mention that I used to pray as a kid that I would never get boobs, but the Lord defnitely didn't listen to me. So how I ended up with these baffles me! It's so sad but so true that it will only get much worse before it gets better. I'm so glad you were able to get some more comfy things!

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