One Month Later...

I've Been Painting Pictures of Egypt

Why is it that this is my first chance to blog in days and I find myself staring at the screen with my mind running blank as to what to write?  If that's not frustrating, then I don't know what is!  ARGH.

5 minutes of staring later...

Before I forget to mention it, Matt and I watched a movie this past weekend from Netflix called The Simple Life of Noah Dearborn with Sidney Poitier.  It was one of the best movies I've seen in a long time!  Many of you may have already seen it because I guess I'm a little behind in the times:  it came out in 1999.  But if you haven't viewed it, I highly recommend this touching drama that had an endearing humorous aspect as well.  Along with Dianne Wiest and Mary-Louise Parker, the cast was delightful in all respects.

5 minute break to fix that small massive bowl of Blue Bell Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream that I've wanted to devour the past 2 days...

On our way to the doctor's office on Wednesday for Brennan's one month appointment, I was listening to Sara Groves' album Conversations.  The song "Painting a Picture of Egypt" started playing, and as I sang the words out loud, I realized how much I could relate to the lyrics in this point in my life.  Which I guess means that I am more like the Israelites during the time of the Exodus when Moses was leading them out of Egypt than what I'd like to admit:  how often they looked back to the past and didn't trust the Lord to provide or care for them in the new place He led them.  Every opportunity they had to question His character of faithfulness or complain, they did.  I wouldn't consider myself to be in a dessert per say, just in vastly new territory.  At times, this new territory is so uncomfortable and personally stretching that it makes me long for for the solace and familiarity of what I knew prior to this new place.  And yet, I wouldn't go back.  I couldn't go back.  I'm different.  I've changed.  I am changing. 

Lord, thank you for this new place You've brought me to.  It's hard sometimes, especially when I'm tired.  And it's showing me places in my heart that I have put myself first for so long.  But only You in your grace and beauty can make a new territory feel right and good, knowing that Your tender, loving hand is on every aspect of leading me here.  Help me to trust You in this new place, to give to You the times when I mourn for the comfort of my old life.  Thank you for the ways You've already given me such new found joy and delight in where I am now.  Thank You that I can turn to You at any time, that You know all that I need. Thank You that You alone are the Source of everything, absolutely everything, that I need:  strength, wisdom, endurance, hope, rest, security, knowledge, joy, patience.  Thank You that You hold the brush, that You are the Artist of this new part of the painting that I'm in.  It's so colorful and beautiful already.  May I have eyes to behold such beauty...both in the painting and in You.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

   Contemplating that second bowl of ice cream...I seriously think I'm gonna!


Beautiful. Well said.

What a lovely post!

I totally get what you're saying. :-)

I have this CD and I love this song. It really is so meaningful. I love how the chorus says, "painting pictures of Egypt leaving out what it lacked...but the places that use to fit me can't hold the things I've learned." So true!

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