Moved in Compassion
Look Who’s One!

The Miracle of the Moment

What are the significant moments in your life that you mark with anniversaries, the ones where you say, “Five years ago today, I was ______”? It probably goes without saying that this past week and the coming days have sparked many memories of this time last year. It’s so nostalgic. And emotional. And wonderful.

For the past year, I’ve studied Beth Moore’s, Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman. I just wrapped it up this week. Not sure if you caught that: it’s taken me a full year. Yep, that’s right. It’s taken me 52 weeks to complete a 9 week course! I started it the morning of January 15, 2009. While listening to the first CD session, I was slightly distracted by the onset of contractions. Well, at least I found out they were contractions the next day when my doctor hooked me up to a fetal monitor and saw that why, yes, I indeed was in labor, and thus he sent me over to the hospital.

While listening to the CD, I kept time of the contractions as you can see on the picture below with the scribbled note, “Today, can I agree it’s tough being a woman? If labor counts, yes! <grin> 1/15/09”. And as noted, those contractions were fairly regular. That was at 9:06 a.m. on January 15th. My little boy came into the world the following day at 6:47 p.m.

 

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Fast forward to January 13, 2010, a year later. My book isn’t as new and fresh anymore. Some of the pages are torn and manhandled from leaving it in easily accessible places to a very curious child. As I concluded this study with tears stinging my eyes, I held a little blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy in my lap who was eager to see what his momma was working on. That little boy keeps getting bigger and bigger, right before my very eyes. He’s so big he can hold a pen in his tiny hands and scribble, fascinated by the markings resulting from his hand movements.

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This study, while it took me forever and a day, I believe was one that the Lord purposefully intended for me to delve into the past year. With every turn of the page, it seemed like each lesson was perfectly timed. I absolutely loved this study! It was thrilling and exuberant and gripping. Full of richness and Truth that I had not encountered in previous readings of Esther. The Lord used this study to shed light on things I am afraid of, the things I think I’m trusting Him with, but in reality, it’s only because I hope with all my might that that will somehow help me avoid experiencing the things I’m most afraid of. But that’s not really trusting Him, is it? Like Esther, I want to be able to say, “If I perish, I perish”. That no matter what may come my way, I trust Him, because no matter what circumstances I may walk through, God will always be there. He will help me get through. He will fulfill His purposes. He will take care of my family. He will comfort me.

This year has been a defining year for me. A battle raged in me for years about whether I wanted to be a mommy. But in His divine purpose for me, He has blessed me with that role this past year. Oh, it’s sure had its challenges. And it’s had its amazing benefits that far outweigh those challenges. However, a new battle rages in me for the desire to feel more significant than “just” being a mommy, the desire for fame or to be well-known in the blogosphere, to feel like I’m achieving a greater purpose in life than being a stay-at-home momma. I try to talk down to those lies almost on a daily basis. Because the truth is, as something I’ve revisited through Esther, is that I am significant. Jesus Christ gives me purpose and meaning. He is writing my story and it will have a good ending. That for such a time as this, I was chosen to be a wife and a mommy, to serve my precious family in joy, even in the most mundane and ordinary of events like scrubbing toilets and changing diapers. That for such a time as this, I was set apart to be an example to my son of His greatness and glory, to acknowledge that ultimately, this past year has been more about Him and His faithfulness and grace to a girl who didn’t have a clue about anything baby related than my own hookups and insecurities. He shined this past year!

And so this Saturday, when we have a few people over to celebrate Brennan’s first birthday, Jesus will be the honored guest. Oh, how I praise Him and acknowledge that He carried me through a year of so many unknowns that I could have easily sunk. I’m so grateful that He kept me, just like He said He would.

I just might frame those two pictures above. They represent a year filled with defining moments. Moments that if I was too flippant, I’d dismiss as ordinary or insignificant. But no, they’re miraculous.

Comments

What great bookends you have for this last year!

This brought tears to my eyes. I have heard that this is an awesome study over and over again. I am so glad you experienced it. I will have to do it. I just started Breaking Free. You should do it now! That would be interesting to go through it together. I think it is going to be amazing - just like you!

On a different note, I do Yoga DVDs. My brother Tivos Yoga from TV and says there are a lot of good ones on there. We do not have access to such technology, so I have fiddled around with DVDs. I did Yoga for Pregnancy when I was pregnant with Aaron and I am going to start that one again this week. I also did a LOT of Pregnant Pilates and I think that was helpful to keep my core strong.

Good luck with everything this year. It is going to be a wonderful one!

what a neat post, meg. i love hearing from your heart. celebrating God's faithfulness this weekend with you all.

You brought me to tears. I too suffered with the "mommy" question and once we had Cameron I thought I could have it all career, motherhood etc. Truth is the Lord sent us Henry to show me my career is being a Mama and a Wife and now I wouldn't trade it for anything. Blessings Mama!

I'm so glad God gave you Brennan. He brings so much joy to so many people! Happy birthday to the little man! When's the next one coming?

That is such a neat Esther testimony!

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