This past Friday I joined The Gypsy Mama in her wonderful 'Five Minute Friday' series that encourages writers to write "without worrying about getting it right". We set the timer for five minutes and write freely without editing or over-thinking. I don't do it often enough.
During the kids' rest time last Friday, I hammered out something that resonated within me for the promt, "Remember". I wrote it, hit publish, and within the next hour removed it. It was too fresh, too sacred, and well, some of my posts need Matt's blessing before they're posted for the whole world to see.
So we sat with it for a couple of days. I haven't edited it despite a growing urge to add a little here, delete a little there. The over-thinker in me wants to backtrack, explain, contextualize. But simply, the promt enabled me to take a moment to process what occured on Friday from the overflow of a grateful heart...
It’s been eight months since we first stepped foot in the “beer man’s” office, a term we affectionately call our counselor. I remember what it felt like to plant foot in his office that Friday morning. Angry, scared, ashamed, crushed. The feelings were too much to bear and the vulnerability was palpable. He greeted us with kindness, a listening ear, and a lot of time-proven wisdom. Amazingly, we left hopeful and encouraged.
Matt and I walked into his office today with a mutual feeling it might be our last meeting for a while, that we crossed over into the “let’s meet on an as-needed basis” realm. Five. We had five specific goals we wanted to meet during our counseling sessions, and we talked about each of them: how far we’ve come, what we’ve learned, how we’ve grown, what’s changed. The overarching theme: how to live intentionally within our marriage, that there is no such thing as over-communicating.
At the end, we sat in silence. In reflection, we remembered not so much with focus on the situation that brought us there in the first place, nor those overwhelming emotions we experienced sitting in his office those initial sessions. But remembered that…
God loves soft hearts. He can work with them, mold them, change them. Humility is the posture in which to live. Dependence in the Lord is a position in which He delights. We can’t do anything without Him. Nothing. He is good. He’s faithful. He provided friends and family to pray for us, provided godly counsel.
And humbly, we remember and pray for those who bravely walk through those doors. You’re not alone.
“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” Deuteronomy 4:9